Falling into place

You can see how busy I am this summer with the lack of blogs I am producing. Anyways, I feel so rushed and busy with everything that is going on this summer but for the most part it is all going smoothly and good. There is the odd problem but that is to be expected. You know I'm happy. Making money, having fun, getting really excited for my trip. It's good, it's all good. Ever since I have finished school this year I have been happier. You know I liked ACAD but at the same time I'm not sure if it was right for me. I feel better now, in my place, my moment. I am getting excited to move out on my own, not just residence. To be back at University. It all makes me smile. the only problem is there is so much I want to do and it just doesn't all fit. I am missing out too. Like going to the lake with Dani, and I'm sad about that. And going to Sandpoint, or just away on a boating vacation. But then again there is the cruise. And it's going to be a great opportunity. Not something I am going to be doing very often. So I want to enjoy every minute of it. I have a lot of mixed strange feelings, but nothing that makes me cry anymore, not even stupid boys. I am happy being me, doing my thing. And people always say you will find someone when you aren't even looking. So I'm just going to enjoy my life, my space, my time and go with the flow of things and whatever happens, happens. Love you guys! miss you girls tons.

Paddling out of a whirling hole...

You know so many things are happening this summer, and a lot of them are good but too much is happening and I don't even know where to start. I feel like I am just trying to keep myself afloat right now. I changed my availability to 2 days during the week at LNT instead of 3 because it has been killing me and I am burning out and have no life. I mean this week I worked Monday, Tuesday, Thursday. Yesterday I had this U of S thing that was a few hours long. So tomorrow night is the first free night I have off and I am still busy because I am driving down south to see Jaan and pick up/pay for the pieces I am getting from him. Then Saturday I work all day and then I am going to a 50th birthday party. Sunday really is the day of rest for me. That's the only day I can sit down and just relaxed and not worry about everything, which I do anyways.

This summer is too packed, too busy. It has never been this complicated and out of control. I think this whole cruise thing is fucking up the system. I mean I am really excited, and I get more excited every passing day but it has just spun everything out of control this summer. And now that I am moving to Saskatoon that throws another loop hole in because I have to find a place to live, and move in before the cruise because orientation starts 2 days after we get back. CAN YOU SAY INSANE!!!! We are going to get home, do laundry and leave the next day most likely. So complicated. And we are going with my parents which is fine but they have so much to say about where they want us to live and me and Kelsey are like HELLO we want something we are going to like too. I mean my parents are looking at campus housing. No thanks. I'm good. They don't listen well.

And then there is Stampede and they wanted to go shopping in the States before we went on our cruise and I am also trying to make money for school and living and whatever. I don't go out because I don't have time. I work ALL THE TIME it seems. I don't really have much of a life. And then I went to Saskatoon and that was a lot of fun but it burned me out even more than I already was with little sleep, lots of sun, and too much alcohol. I don't know how I function. Perma headaches right now. I could use a massage too but I don't have time for that either. FUCK! So much other shit is going on I will be lucky if I can go out on the boat at all this summer, which blows because it is the only thing that I am always looking forward and makes me happy every time. That's my form of Leanne's running to burn off steam. I feel like I am missing out on so much. Especially spending time with you guys and I feel terrible about it.

All I do is worry and freak out. School, friends, guys or lack there of. Stupid shit mostly but stuff that's important to me I guess. Isn't summer supposed to be fun?? I'm pretty sure I am more stressed now than ever before. Amazing. Anyways, I complain about being tired and then I stay up after midnight to write a f'ing blog. Genius Kim! Night ladies.