HOME!!!

Hey guys. I'm home. Finally. I'm actually enjoying it I guess. Well for now because I'm not doing anything but as soon as Monday rolls around it's work time..... Oh well, it's money. I was so glad to be done after my Stat's exam Tuesday. It was kind of dumb. Grrr, why do things have to be complicated sometimes, and I still haven't got my marks back so I have no clue what I'm at right now either. It's kind of scary really. Tuesday afternoon/night was good. I had nothing to do so I just chilled and then my mom came and we went to Wendy's and I had a frosty, yum! Then she gave me boxes and bags and took some of my stuff and then went home. Later I watched Varsity Blues with Dylan, which was fun. I love that movie and it was cool to hang with him again. It's a little weird but I love talking to him so I dunno. Anyways, then I decided to start packing at like.... 11 probably. Talk about procrastination hey. Leaving it till the last minute. Hahaha. Go me!! So I did that all night while Leanne studied. We had KD one last time at like 2:00 which was fun. Good little tradition that is. ;) Then we went to bed just before 3:00, and I still had a lot of packing to do. We got up at 8:30 and I packed some more while Leanne kept studying. My dad showed up about 9:30 and I still had lots to do. I packed a bit more then we went for breakfast. French toast. That's one thing they never really screwed up. So then I went back and finished packing up my stuff. Woohoo! Not!! I was sad to see the room half empty. I felt bad for leaving Leanne but she will be ok and I will see her like....tomorrow, lol. But I left the room with one last look. I said bye to a bunch of the girls then I went out to the lounge. Alison was so funny, it was sad. I wrote one Kyle's flag and then gave him a hug, and then Chris and Tyler. Then I went to Alison waiting for me in the middle of the lounge. I didn't think I would cry but when I looked at her and she gave me her little note I burst out crying. We were both bawling, it was kind of sad really, lol. I'm going to miss you girl!! Then I had to go say buy to Easy and let him know he can still come party at my house for Stampede. Then I left, walked out the door, and left. It was really quite depressing. The trip home wasn't bad though. I stayed awake almost the whole time and it was actually pretty quick. As soon as I got home I went with my sis to the U of C so she could get her calendar to register for classes. We took her car, and it was kind of funny because I haven't driven with her in a standard before and she is still learning. It was entertaining to say the least. Then we came home and I chilled some more and made dinner, a real dinner!! Watched some TV with my mom and then went to bed. Today I did some laundry and then I went to the airport to get my security pass. The picture wasn't that bad which is kind of cool. It's going to be interesting working there that's for sure. I can't wait actually. Then I went to Sobey's and talked to Jess and I can get a job there if I want I just have to let her know. So I guess I'm set. I was invited to go out tonight too but I don't think I will only because I don't really have anyone to go with. But I am going out with Kelsey tomorrow most likely, even though Ashley is having a party. I'm busy this weekend that's for sure. But I guess I should go. Have a great summer everyone!! Love you.

My final week in Lister....

When I finished writing my blog the other day I didn't even realize that I was leaving it so that I only had a week left of living in Lister. It's truly coming to an end, and I'm not sure what to feel. I am actually quite sad right now (perhaps in part to my dreadful Chemistry exam) and I feel stuck in the middle. For the last little while I wanted to leave and go home so bad but now I am starting to do a 180 and wish I could stay here. I'm leaving so much behind to go home to what I had before, even though it is nice sometimes. Is not having school really worth the sacrifices of experiences, friends, an independent life?? Now that I have truly had a chance to think about this I would have to say no. I think I would deal with school if I had the chance to stay here. Everything that I have become accustom to these last few months is going to be dumped out the window come Wednesday. I think I truly became a new person over the year, and it allowed me to understand what it important to me. I made so many close friends this year and I was allowed to see them everyday and who knows when I will get to see them now. And living with Leanne I also realized that I'm not sure what I would do if I didn't have her as a friend. We were good friends in Calgary, and we kind of made this transition together and learned so much about each other and then we are moving back to Calgary together and working together and who knows when it will all end.... One day we will start working and following are careers and that may lead us in a different path and things change. It makes me realize how much I will cherish this year because it's taught me so much and had probably been one of the best years of my life. I started going to the bar, I made some awesome friends, I had a few guy experience (maybe not quite as many and Leanne, Alison, and Dani. lol) which I have never had before, I gained a greater independence because I could do what I wanted, when I wanted! Now I'm going home, living under my parents roof, which means I follow their rules. My dad even said the other day that I have to pass his test for driving a standard before he will actually let me out by myself. I mean I love my family and I have an awesome house, but the fact that it's out of town also creates a problem for when I'm going out because I can't just catch a bus home or walk. There are always pros and cons to everything. Life is so COMPLICATED!! Oh well. I just want to say goodbye and don't forget this year, because I know I won't, and here's to just as many good times next year. And I'm looking forward to a fantastic summer with all my old friends and family, and making money. Less than 48 hours and my like is going to be be flipped upside down again and I am going to be treading in new and unknown territory all over again!

Goodbye Lister, and my first year of University. *sigh*

So anyways, now that you are done reading my somewhat depressing blog, I am going to finish off my life story of the last few days. So Thursday I got up and studied a bit and then later we went outside in this continual beautiful weather and studied some more as well as tanned. I love summer time, I wish I lived in a place that was like this all the time and I could go and visit the snow. Haha. So anyways, I went inside later and studied some more and procrastinated as usual. Leanne went over to her cousins later and I stayed up and studied and then went to bed. Friday I had to awaken bright and early to write my Economics final which wasn't too bad. I really am not sure how I did... Then I studied a little bit and Nicole came to get me at 2 to go and watch my cousins Kaitlyn and Jason play rugby because they were in town. It was fun actually. I kinda wish I played rugby. I would have been good at it!! Then we left and went to pick up Nicole's friend Caitlyn who is so cool. I'm glad we are friends now. But anyways, we headed to Brian's shop and I got to drive the Envoy. After meeting up we went to Boston pizza for dinner and drinks, although I didn't drink because I was driving. After that we drove around for a bit, bought some alcohol and the girls went back to Nicole's place and we had a fire and talked for a bit, which was fun. They are making me want to go to Big Valley more and more now. Oh well. So then we went in and watched A Cinderella Story and Matt came to pick up Caitlyn and then we went to bed. I got up at like 9:30 Saturday and had some toast and then started to study. I sat there all day studying except for the odd distraction like checking my email and showering. Then we made dinner, which was very tasty as usual and chatted. After that we watched O.C.C. and then everyone went to bed and I stayed up and watched more TV and played on Nicole's computer. I was going to go back to Lister but Nicole was tired to I just crashed there again. It ended up being a good thing because Olga took us out for breakfast and I had the most incredible waffle. So many Strawberries and so much whip cream.... YUM! Then Olga drive me back and asked again if I just wanted to study at there place but I was like no it's my time to be back. But I probably should have taken her up on her offer because I really didn't study much yesterday and me and Leanne chatted and then she left me anyways. Haha. We are playing Lister tag. I was outside for quite awhile yesterday and I had candy and a slurpy and burnt my arm in the hot weather. Then I sat in my room for the rest of the night talking on msn and studying (which I should have done more of). This morning I awoke to face my doom in Chemistry. It was worse then I thought it would be. Apparently I'm just not smart because studying didn't really seem to help, but I guess it's too late now and man am I glad to be done!! Now I am writing a blog and I will be off studying for Stat's right away. Lets hope that test goes better. Anyways, I really need to stop typing now because I have wasted far to much time already!! Later my lovelies!! <3

And all that mumbo jumbo!!

Wow, now that I have to catch up again because my computer is dumb and I am typing my history again and then adding to it now that its been a few days.... this could potentially be a long blog. As my dad says, the Reader's Digest version. Haha. Oh man I wanna go home. The things that are reminding me of home. Fuck I wanna go home and drive, make money, work, no school, see old friends. K, I'm going to stop talking about it now cause it's kinda making me a little depressed, because I'm leaving people here too. Why can't we have it all?? Seriously. Oh well. So on with my life story for what the last week of my life. Haha. Almost the last week of my Lister year. Okay I can't even thinkin straight. My mind is here and there. Random ideas always popping up. I'm even confusing myself so I apologize if this blog is all over the fucking place. So anyways, back on track here. Let's see where do I even begin. Man it's been even longer then I thought since I wrote about me and my life.... I don' t think I can remember that far back. To much going on in my brain in these last few weeks. I dunno what I did last week. It was the last week of classes so pretty much nothing. I had my chem lab exam.... or was that even that week. So anyways, from what I can remember the last of we did the t-shirt signing on the Thursday which was fun and then hit the power plant for some dancing. Some random guy had to draw a dick on my shirt. Why I don't know, I don't understand their fascination with drawing their human anatomy. Like seriously its not like its super pretty or anything. Haha. Oh man I don't think this is going in the right direction. So anyways, we did that then went to sleep and went to class, as usual Friday. Everyone was getting drunk but I had to head home first cause it was my sister's b-day. Took the bus home to surprise her, and she has no clue, at all. It was great. I walk into the restaurant and she has to do the double take cause she didn't even notice me there at first. And I feel even more special cause she said it was the best b-day present ever. I had a good time. Haha, anyways, we went to Stef's and then headed to Tequila for some fun. Kelsey had a good time, and I did too. It was fun to party with her. But man I went in with $120 (60 of mine and 60 of my dads) and all I have left at the end of the night was a $20. Drinking is way too much money. But it was worth it. We crashed at Stef's and Nick came over for a visit with his buddies, who were weird. Kels was out in the car with Nick and I was annoyed to I threw his shoes at the car. Whatever. So anyways, we go home and go car shopping with my folks on Saturday and we finally got something. Yay!! A Hyundai Accent for my sis. Which means I am stuck with the Buick for a bit but at least we aren't sharing and my parents are looking for a car for me. Sunday me and my mom looked for cars for me. Didn't find much, but oh well. I went and got my cousin Lacey cause we were having some family over for Kelsey's and her b-day. It was some good food. Then I took Lacey home, and went to sleep. Oh sleep, I need to go and do that. I finally finished my English book, Not Wanted on the Voyage, which was the weirdest book I have ever read. I studied some other stuff and didn't do anything else until I caught the bus back to E-town with Leanne Tuesday afternoon. We had a good chat on the way back, I love our chats, and played some games and so on and so forth. That was the LONGEST bus ride of my life though, and it was a whole extra hour. More annoying then anything. At least Leanne's dad picked us up though. We did make a bit of a detour/getting lost way back though. Haha. Gotta love it. I miss exploring too. There was minimal studying and then I went to sleep and wrote my English exam at 9:00 am Wednesday morning and it sucked and lets just say I'm happy that that's over an done with. Wednesday night was good though cause I chilled all afternoon and then went and watched Ladder 49 with Dylan and it was a good time. I wanted the ending to be happier but it was a good movie, and I like hanging with Dylan. He's a funny and really nice. Not going to go to far into that though cause it seems to bite me in the ass. So then I left, and went to sleep. Which I am going to do right now cause I'm tired, and it's late, and I have to get up in the morning. So I will continue my story tomorrow when I need something to do while procrastinating. Ta ta for now!!

FUCK YOU BLOG

I had the hugest post and the one that is before this is all that worked. It decided to delete like more then half my fucking blog. WHAT A WASTE OF TIME. That's why I don't like to do this any more. FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!! I am not retyping everything I did in the last week. GRRRR. I"M PISSED!!!

10 Days.....

Wow, just think in 10 days I am going to be going home and possibly not seeing a lot of the people I lived with for the last 8 months ever again or at least for the next four months. It's so weird.... these people were my family really. But then for some of them I won't miss them anyways, but I won't ever forget either. I know it will be sad when I pack all my stuff up and see that room empty once again, well sort of since Leanne is going to be there a day longer then me. I'm leaving a lot of things behind really, not just people. First of all, I just lived 8 months in a shoebox size room with my best friend and we managed to get through it without ripping each others heads off. I really think this made us so much closer because it's hard to have secrets and we realized we need to trust each other and that we can do anything. I mean it's not like I wont see her this summer cause we are working together and I do have to drive her to work but it's still different. Hmmm.... And then there is Dani who I will see this summer because she lives in Calgary too which is good for me. But I know for a fact that I won't be seeing her every day because we do live quite far away and we are both going to be busy working and enjoying our summer. No more Tuesday/Thursday lunches. Then comes Alison which is really quite depressing because she really doesn't live close at all so I will see her all of once maybe twice this summer. Stampede baby!! You better be here or I will have to kill you!! We have cowboys to pick up and drool over!!! Love ya babe. Amy, who I will probably only see a few times as well because she lives in Edmonton. But she is coming up for Stampede too and I might make a trip or two to Edmonton cause I might miss it. So weird, but that's alright because I will be busy this summer and before I know it I will be moving back there. But I do know that I want to be home right now too. I came home fore the weekend and for my sisters birthday and I had so much fun and I really don't want to go back to Lister and to Edmonton to write exams. I am happy to be home. I miss my family, my dog, DRIVING. Omg, do I miss driving. I can't wait to get my own car.

Slacking....

I'm not doing a good job of keeping up with my blogs anymore am I guys. And it's not like I don't have anything to say, I guess I just don't feel like writing as much. Oh well now you get an update of everything that has happened in the last few days. In my last blog I mentioned that we were going to the plant Thursday for Golf Pro's and Tennis Hoes. Yeah well it wasn't great, it fucking sucked ass!!! We got there at like 10:30 and we were the only ones there except a few people sitting done eating food. So we stayed for a bit because naturally we thought it would pick up. Well by 11:30 we gave up and left. I was a little depressed and pissed cause I decided to wear a skirt which I have never done before and there was no one there. :( But instead of going back to Lister we went to Windsor's which was hoppin'. The place was stupidly full you couldn't even walk through. It was a good time. My night improved once I got there. Oh and Kyle from 3 was there and him and Leanne talked a bit and cleared a few things up a bit. But it's too bad for him cause I think he still likes her and she's taken. But anyways, Alison was tanked and she kept spilling drinks, broke a glass, and was on the floor more then she was standing, haha. It was funny, and eventually they took her home. Silly silly girl and her drunkenness. Me and Leanne stayed till the end and we hung out with Gord and Mikey a lot of the night. It's so funny how all the guys from Yellowknife are after her. ;) So we came back to Lister and I went to our room to make KD and Leanne was out in the lounge talking with Mikey. Well Kyle comes down and is looking for her and I'm thinking you didn't see her in the lounge, oh god. So anyways, me and Kyle bicker for like a good 5 minutes about him and Leanne and what happened, about how I reacted when he came down looking for her that one time and about how I was making the KD. It was stupid, but actually kinda funny at the same time. Then I went out to the lounge and found Mikey and Leanne on the blue couch and I'm like she is right here Kyle. But he just kinda stomped away and is like she's talking to someone and that was it. Whatever right. He was too drunk anyways I think. So then I went and ate my KD, gave Leanne hers and went to sleep at like 3:30. Yay for no sleep cause I have an 8:00 class on Friday mornings. So I went to all my classes and then I think I had a nap.... or did I. Haha. No I don't think I did. I started watching Gone in 60 seconds and then Heather Allen showed up so I had to get her. Then we watched the movie and hung out until Nicole showed up. She had been getting her hair cut and died and it looked awesome. Then Nicole, me and Heather went to get my lab from Colin. Colin is my hot Chem. 102 lab TA. Alison and Leanne wanted to see what he looked like. So even though I was terribly embarrassed Nicole took a picture of me and him to show the girls. That was a bit of an adventure. So anyways, it so had to rain Friday too. But the three of us went to West Edmonton Mall. We went to Moxie's for some food cause Nicole was starving. I had some bruchetta thing that was a snack kinda thing and then I ended up not eating anything else that night. I was really hungry by midnight cause I had the bruchetta at like 4:30. We shopped around looking for Heather's grad dress and I tried some bra's on in La Senza. Then the girls picked up some make-up from London Drugs and I bought an eyelash curler. It's interesting. I talked to Kelsey for about a half an hour too cause she was really upset and I'm glad she called me because she was home alone, and I feel special now too, that she knows that I am here for her. Things will be ok. I know they will. So anyways, we were going to see a movie but we were waiting for Brian cause Nicole didn't want to go with out him which was fine. So we ended up going to BP's because Marc and some of his buddies were there in the lounge drinking. I ended up having a couple drinks and hanging out with them a little bit. Marc was being him normal self nice and then a jackass the next minute. I don't understand that kid sometimes. So then Brian showed up. He is definitely the nicest guy out of all of Marc's friends. He was pretty good looking and he wasn't an ass! Haha. The guys left and then Nicole, Brian, Heather and me hung out for a bit. We didn't end up going to the movie cause it was already kinda late. So we sat around for a bit and then Nicole and Brian went for a walk and Heather and me went to Nicole's car to listen to music. It was kinda fun actually. Heather told me some good Used songs and I downloaded them all yesterday. Then Nicole and Brian showed up and we went over to his place and were watching Ladder 49. It was a pretty good movie. However I didn't get to see the end cause we had to go and Nicole was already late. Oh and Nicole tried throwing her phone at Heather and she hit me in the jaw instead and it actually hurt. There is even a sore spot on my jaw now. Like geeze. Oh well. So then she drove me back to Lister and she went home. Leanne was sleeping but sort of woke up when I got back. I got ready for bed and then went to sleep. Another 3:00 night, lol. Oh well it was fun. I did eat a few crackers before I went to bed though cause my stomach hurt to much cause I hadn't eaten. The funny thing was, I went to bed late but I still woke up/ was woken up by 9:00. So I played on my computer and had breakfast and talked to my dad for a bit. Then I braided Leanne's hair and had a shower. Just as I finished Leanne was going over to Sam's. She still isn't back yet which makes me think that her and Jason talked. But anyways, because I wasn't really doing anything yesterday I pretty much just played around. I painted my toe nails, tried this new thing with my hair by twisting sections, which kinda ended up looking like nice dreads. It's interesting that's for sure. So my day was ok until main main chow mein rolled around. I went down there like everyone else and once the food came everyone lined up but I didn't bother to rush up or anything. So by the time I got up there the only thing really left was rice because everyone had taken such heaping amounts. I was like fuck that and walked out. I was not paying for rice. So I was kinda pissed. I went and got a grilled cheese sandwich and then I decided to have a nap at like 7:00 I guess. Well I didn't mean to sleep that long but I woke up at like 9:30 and it was dark. I'm like that's just great, now I won't be able to sleep but whatever. So then I talked to Alison for a bit and we made a trip to the Marina for veggies which were quite tasty. We ended up watching the end of Ocean's Eleven. I love that movie. I think the last time I saw it was in theatres. So then I went back to my room and talked to Jeff, Stef and my mom for a bit on msn. Stef has some serious issues going on with her roommate right now. It's crazy. I finished up talking to her and then I went to bed at like 1:00. I woke up early again this morning at like 8:30. But I didn't get out of bed and I went back to sleep until 10:30. Talked to my mom this morning and then went and had breakfast in the Cafe. It was ok and I got fruit with strawberries and all this morning. Yummy!!! So now that it is like 12:30 and I need to study for my lab finals and this blog has gotten very long I am going to go. Later ladies. Love you all. Hope you had a good weekend!

so bored....

It's funny cause I have been so bored lately and I don't really have any good excuse. I mean I have lots to do around here and there are always people to talk to, but I'm bored. Even my cousin Kaitlyn is like "your bored my closest friend is a good ten min. drive away". I mean I feel bad. I dunno. I don't want to do my chem lab, but that's alright, I will, when I'm done this. The funny part is I haven't written a blog since Saturday which is a really long time for me. I almost always right a blog at least every 2 days, but not this time. I dunno why, I have had no inspiration, still don't really but oh well. But I do have things to talk about now I guess. We played dodgeball Saturday against Main Mac and lost cause they are really good and cheated. Then we played them again Sunday cause it was the best out of three for the finals, and lost again, partly because of their cheating, but there isn't much I can do now is there. And I had fun this year. It was awesome. So ya that's that, and all my other time this weekend I spent working on my English essay but it didn't matter cause it was really time consuming and I ended up pulling an all night Sunday night and didn't go to sleep until like 10:30 the next morning. I went to my first two classes which were pointless cause I was falling asleep anyways. But I needed to get the stat's notes and obviously I had to hand in my English essay. So yeah I had my 5 hour nap which was nice and then did like nothing at all, all night. It was good times. I had the room to myself too cause Leanne was over at Sam's place with Jason. Haha. Oh man. Everything that happened that night I I dreamed about. It was kinda disturbing actually. I will leave the gorry details to myself, lol. Funny, funny. So I went to my class and lab yesterday. I realized I was kinda sad cause this was my last lab before my lab final and then I won't see Colin anymore and he was the best lab TA ever. He was funny and hot, lol. Me and Leanne were talking and we were thinking that I should email Colin and tell him that he is hot, but after my lab exam cause then I never have to see him again. Haha, omg writing that down makes it sound so Juniour High and childish. Oh well, I'm sure it will be fun. But anyways, I should get on my lab cause I might not want to be up all night. Haha. P.S. - tomorrow is going to fucking rock at the Plant, Golf Pro's and Tennis Hoe's!! It should be a good time. Slutyness. Haha. K later.

A Better Day!

Well today has started off pretty good and I'm feeling energized. I think it was good that I didn't go last night. I know it would have been fun and maybe good for my spirit but I enjoyed my alone time, and it gave me a chance to express how I was feeling. I woke up this morning cause Mikey came in to wake Leanne up and it was ok. I'm not really tired and the sun is high in the sky and so nice today. It made it easy to get out of bed. I had some pancakes and then went and played dodgeball. Dodgeball was incredible this morning. We fucking kicked ass. We swept. First three games in the basket. We won and we're still in it. The adrenaline rush was awesome. I'm happy now. Still not sure about some things but happy. Sadly though I still have to write that dreadful essay so that is what I am going to do. Ta ta for now!

One of those nights....

This week just seems to not be my week. I don't know why but I kinda have felt like crap all week, and not the happiest. It could have something to do with the fact that I have my period but that's definitely the only reason. I dunno I think I have just had a revelation that I'm a failure or incompetent. I don't know what to call it really. It basically goes like this. First of all I feel like a failure. The whole fact that I am one class short of a full course load because I had to drop Organic Chemistry because I was failing because I didn't do my homework or study really. All my hard work in the labs, down the tubes. And now I know there is more pressure on me to do better in my other classes because I have one less class to worry about now. I should be doing my chemistry questions, but I'm not and I haven't done any all semester. I should be reading English and I should have worked on my essay weeks ago, but I didn't and now I'm going to pay. I have to try and write this essay this weekend and I'm scared and just think it's a waist of time cause I know my prof and I know my writing abilities and it's not going to be any better then a D anyways, so why do I even bother. Stat's is ok, but I have a lab assignment due next week which I haven't worked on either and we missed the class this morning cause we slept in. Like fuck. How is it possible that I'm suck a screw up. The only class that I am doing somewhat decent in right now is Econ and it doesn't even have anything to do with what I am taking. It looks like at some point I might be transferring to Arts at some point. There is no direction in my life right now. I am at the end of my first year of university and I still don't know what the fuck I want to do with my life at all. I feel like a failure because I am doing crappy in school. I am kind of wishing I had a guy right now for whatever reason and I have read so many people wrong this year and it's just been crappy and stupid. So I'm alone too even though I know I have my friends. Truthfully I just want to go home at the moment. I am tired of this little ass room and not having any money and doing things with no direction. At least when I start work at the airport I know it's a job and I will know what I have to do and that will be that. And I will be making money to do it and not spending money. That's another reason why this sucks. I have like no money left, or very little. I want to spend my birthday money on something nice but I also have like no money left to go out either. I didn't go out tonight party because of that. I just don't have the money. It cost so much for cab, cover and coat check and then if I did want to have one or two drinks. It shouldn't cost me an arm and a leg. Whatever. See when I go home I will have money, I can go out, I will have a CAR. I miss driving so much. I love to drive and I don't get to at all here. That would be one reason to stay home to go to school, I could drive everyday. Plus we are going to get a new car, a standard. I have wanted to drive standard since I took my lessons, before that even. Everything at home just seems so much more promising right now. Oh and the whole being in shape thing too. I feel like crap and I look like crap. I have been trying to exercise some but it hasn't done much cause I have still gained wait here and I still have a gut and huge this. I just feel so ugly right now. I look at myself in the mirror and I don't see that fire that I used to have. When I used to dress up I could convince myself that I'm pretty and that somebody would want me and there just doesn't even seem to be a point anymore. Obviously it hasn't got me anywhere so far. I need some sort of inspiration, and strength. That's why I love the summer. I go on holidays and I always feel great because I ski and wakeboard everyday and that is the time of the year that I am most in shape and feel the greatest about myself. It probably helps that I have a tan too. Oh and if any of you know my history about sandpoint, even if it is just Marc and Shawn and his buddies I just have so much fun with them and feel attractive. I don't get it. There is hope. I have less then a month left here and then it's home. I can party, work, see old friends, go to the Stampede this year and just enjoy my time without having to worry about my future. At least I have that comfort there to encourage me to get through this crap. That is my inspiration, maybe that's what I need now. If I keep myself busy then I will feel productive and then all of the sudden it will be time to go home. Home, it's nice to know that I have someplace to go where I don't really have to worry about anything, and there is always somebody there for me, that is wise and can give me guidance. Although my mothers indecisiveness has made my life somewhat difficult this year. Why did I have to get that gene of all genes. I hate it. It makes it hard to choose, and I usually have regrets no matter which way I go. I wish there were no options sometimes. Then I wouldn't have to choose. But anyways, I should do homework now because I have already wasted plenty of your time and mine writing this.

P.S.- I do still have fun sometimes though, the spontaneity of it all. Going to the plant last night for battle of the bands and some dancing turned out to be a lot of fun. The last band, not sure of their name, the guitarist/singer was awesome, and really hot. There was just something about him. It was great. Plus I danced with this one pretty hot guy and he was an awesome spinner. It was a good time and it made my night. I'm glad I went! But tonight is not my night, and I'm ok with that. Everyone has their days right?