mixed emotions

I can't seem to keep myself on a constant lately. You know it's weird, ever since I have been home that's when so much seems confusing to me. Being with you guys kept me on some sort of straight path and when I came home I hit some Saskatchewan road and I was in trouble. I mean it's not that it's bad here, because there are a lot of good things, it's just that I miss you guys, and having girlfriends and someone to talk to. I realized today that I basically have no one to talk to in person here that I trust and feel comfortable with other than my sister. And sometimes things go beyond a sisters understanding or interest. I miss my best friends :'( . I am definitely thinking it would be wise to quit my job just so I can come to Edmonton more because I need someone.

This is one of those times when I MISS YOU ALL SOOOO MUCH!!

Anyways, the many things toying with my emotions right now fall under the following:

Bad Things: guys, school, no friends, work, unknown future, and my body.

Good Things: guys, school (glass blowing specifically), getting a tattoo, making money, and my hair (I love my hair right now haha)

I wish I could learn how to go with the flow and enjoy.

Mini story. We (meaning my sis and I) were telling my mom today about going to a tattoo place today to check it out. Well she asked for who. I said all of us (our family friend Matt was there as well). And all she said was your getting another one (which was obviously directed at my sister who is going to have 3 soon). She didn't even acknowledge the fact that I am getting one at all. So I don't know if she knew it was going to happen or if she missed the point. We shall see.

Went to Regina this last weekend and it was the most uneventful weekend of my life. We left at like 8 pm Friday night. It's an 8 hour drive. Usually I sleep but I was up for at least the first 6 maybe 7 hours. I watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Swim Fan and watched my sister play Sim's most of the way. Once we arrived in Regina at 4 am we went to bed and got up at 9 to go see my grandpa. We spent all day in his tiny apartment except for a very short shopping trip that was unsuccessful because a lot of things were closed for the holiday. I slept probably half of the time I was there on his floor. Then we went back to our hotel and I began to watch Harry Potter. Got up the next morning and went to visit grandpa again. We were there for probably 4 hours and once again I probably slept for half of it. I also finished watching Harry Potter. Then we left for home. The 8 hour trip home was once again uneventful. I slept, watched Mulan 2, and contemplated life the whole way home. Monday was the most interesting day of the whole weekend and guess what guys, I spent a good portion of it at school in the Hot Shop (glass blowing well watching), and writing my Art History paper which turned out not too bad I think.

So yeah that should catch you up for awhile. Hope to see you all in a few weeks if I can make it up to Edmonton. Lots of love.