maybe one day I will understand...

I never seem to know what's going on or where people are coming from. I think I just see things totally different then everyone else. Maybe it was the way I was raised or the people I have always know but I'm just different. I can't seem to win. I never really fight back or stand up for myself. I just walk away. I don't know. I JUST DON'T KNOW. FUCK. I seriously can't do this. I hate this. All of it. What does the man upstairs have against me. Now I am sounding like my sister. Why am so sad? Why can't things work out for me? Why can't I get my shit together? Why can't I understand? I CAN'T DO IT. I can't deal with all of this shit. It's too much for me. Why am I even here, in Edmonton. I have so much back home, but yet I want to get away from that sometimes. I mean I feel like it's totally pointless for me to be in school because I don't even know what I'm doing so I have no motivation half the time. And when I do get shit done it seems like I never get sleep and it all just bites me in the ass. AAAHHHHH!!! Now I'm getting a headache. I don't need this shit. I hate being in a bad mood. It's depressing and then people are like what's wrong blah blah. It just doesn't matter. I need to figure out what I want and what's important. So stupid. Grrr. I'm done.