for sure

So I talked to Shawn. And Ross did have his phone Saturday. He asked me what he said and im like well he said that he wishes i was there and he thinks about me. He didn't answer back though. This was a text message. Anyhow, the point is it's still kind of creepy. Plus I am not even in that city. It's too weird for me. I told my sister about it and shes like why not. I'm like is Ross I'm just not comfortable with that. Plus I'm not attracted to him. Anyways just wanted you to know.

craziest message... leads to a story!

So... tonight I was checking my voicemail cause it said I had 2 unheard messages. I was like really... cause I hadn't noticed any missed calls. Well the first one was from my mom the other night and I just hadn't deleted it. Then the second message comes on a it's a guys voice, not what I was suspecting and the messages starts, "Hey, you know who this is." I was like what the fuck. So I hang up and check my missed calls. Sure enough there was one on there but it hadn't shown on my phone this morning. Weird... And I was thinking it couldn't be, but it was, Shawn Mcmaster had called me. Leanne you know Shawn. In fact Dani and Ali you have met him too, at Cook for my b-day the first year. You know who I'm talking about. The guy I was in love with. Anyhow. I had to listen to the message again. It was sent at like 1:30 am though so I'm not really sure what to think. But here is the gist of the message:

"Hey, you know who this is. Wish you were here. I could give you the time of your life. Wish you were here. I've been thinking about you a lot for awhile. I just wanted you to know that your always on my mind."

That isn't exactly the wording obviously, but you get the idea. But I listened to the message a few more times and it doesn't really sound like Shawn. Now I'm starting to think it was Ross on Shawn's phone, cause thats who it sounds like. I think Leanne is the only one who knows him... Where the hell was he going with that message. It seriously bothers me. Mostly because I have always liked Shawn, but also because I don't like Ross like that. He is quite a bit older too, like 27. Thats too old for me I think. Interesting but frustrating. Now I'm curious....

Anyhow. My weekend pretty much sucked cause I worked late yesterday and didn't end up going out to party like I was supposed to. I wish I could have. So work was all I did. Shitty. But I am looking forward to Tuesday. I will be done my humanities midterm and I am going to dress like a whore, go out to the bar, get fucking loaded and dance. Which I miss doing very much. Haha. wish you were here, or that I was there. Love you. I will try to call this week to chat.

With love,

Kim

It has been confirmed...

I met the girlfriend tonight. "Kim this is my girlfriend Terri, Terri this is Kim." Hahaha. So shes real. I seriously found out more about her and them in 15 minutes then I have about Jaan in weeks. Haha. She met him in his second semester of first year. Which means they have been dating for almost 3 years. She goes to the U fo C. She rides a horse. She is blonde and very pretty. She is also very nice, and they are cute together.

It's funny cause it kind of sucks but at the same time its good for me cause now that I know for sure and have met her I can move on. I'm weird like that. So that's my random story for today. And my feet hurt and I hate heels. Bad news.

Peace

Sorry its PISCES!!

NOTE: Don't bother to read if tired of listening to my boy troubles!

Sooo, I am still hooked. On Jaan if you were wondering or had any doubt. Seriously I think I need some help. I know he has a girlfriend, if he does cause it still seems weird to me but I can't help it. I like him more all the time. Really I'm just sucking myself into a deeper pit of future disappointment. I am a sad excuse for a human being. And you know I have almost been in a situation just like this one before, where I didn't have a chance and I know what happens but it doesn't seem to matter. Don't mind my rambling I'm not sure I know what I am saying.

Anyways, a few explanations as to why. He's hot, has an awesome smile, makes me laugh, he is very talented, very carefree (which I wish I could be), and says things that make me think he is flirting. And on top of that, I finally saw his new tattoo tonight. Yeah wanna know what it's of.... A pieces symbol in this crazy wave like thing. Yeah you know, the similar idea of what I have been planning to get for like a year and a half now but haven't had the guts to do but have wanted to do more since I have come to an art school and it's an art thing to do. (Very long sentence).

I think this officially sucks. However I don't think I could give up hanging out in the glass studios because I do have fun down there. And who knows, maybe I will become a glass blower.

FRUSTRATED

hurt :( .....

This sucks. You know when you have a feeling, like there is a chance he has a girlfriend sucks, but when you find out it's a reality it's just plain depressing. You know it stupid. It's not like I'm close with him or anything, but I'm upset. I really wish I wasn't because it would make this whole process easier. The other thing is it would make it a lot easier if I didn't see him to get over the situation because I have been sort of in this place before but that isn't possible. I see him every day that I'm at school. It's not like I can even really avoid him if I wanted to. Which is another sad thing that I don't. I still like him, and probably will for awhile but I'm hoping that maybe we can just be friends. Because those would be nice to have near by now too. I am SO glad I didn't ask him out now though. Imagine the embarrassment. That would have made this situation even worse. Fuck this sucks!! Talk about changing a persons happiness in one day....

Thanksgiving Weekend

So I had a pretty good weekend. It was mostly uneventful. Ate a lot of food, studied some, played cards, sang songs, drank and that's about it. It was nice to chill though. I am super tired today though. Probably because camping and sleeping in the cook shack on the floor isn't the best sleep ever and I kept waking up last night which sucked. And of course I was still distracted with my guy situation. I figure if I don't so it this week I never will. So I either have to ask him out or just give up on the situation. Wanna know something really funny though, even some of the adults this weekend along with all the kids are all telling me to ask him out just like you guys. I'm like I wish it was that easy. And then there is Dan (Leanne you know Dan) well he decides to give me and idea for asking Jaan out. He was slightly intoxicated but I laughed so hard, as did everyone else. He told me I should go up to him and say, " Hey do you like boobs, cause I have some." Haha. I don't know how well that would work if it didn't freak him out and if I did have the guts to ask him out like I would say anything close to that! Haha. So that was my eventful weekend. Hope yours was good. Talk to you later.

P.S. - Always after thoughts

I FORGOT to tell you. So I pulled out my phone and he's like hey we have the same phone. Oh wait yours doesn't have a camera. Then later he put on this suit so he could pick up the lobster when it wasn't done and the heat wouldn't bother him. Well this suit is like shiny metallic, and he called it the alien suit. He asked me to take a picture of him with his phone is this suit. But I stood there forever waiting. And then his memory totally turned out to be full. But I was thinking after, I was like it so would have been smart to either look at his phone and find his number cause obviously it's stored on there or I could have put mine in there. But that may have been a little obsessive or creepy and stalker like, but so funny and possibly flirty at the same time. I dunno. So yeah, my thoughts.

-Kim

Guy Update

Sooo this is what I have for you so far. His name is Jaan as I have told you. I went into the school today to scope things out and maybe get a chat in and such. Well I was there at about 4:15 and I went and talked to Dave, this other 4th year about this peice he made, which was cool but unfortunatly cracked. Then I realized it was another first year class and saw people I know so I chatted for a bit. Then I went out into the hall to sit on the bench and guess who shows up. Jann. :)

Of course I wasn't surprised because those 2 are almost always around somewhere. So anyways he had one of his sculptural pieces and I was commenting about it and he was showing me stuff about it and it was a cool moment. Then he left for a bit to coat it. But at like 5:00 he came back cause they had some some space booked in the hotshop. So for like 2 hours I talked with Jaan and and a few random people who came and went and we watched Dave make a lobster. Yeah dudes, a lobster out of glass. Like seriously cool. Hahaha.

Anyways, it was a good night. I was SOOOO glad I went. Haha. And I learned his background is Swedish and that he was born in Toronto and moved here when he was like 10. I know stuff you probably don't really care about but I feel like sharing cause I'm happy. :) Anyhow it was 7:00 and they were done and I wasn't sure what they were doing but I figured I should go home, so I went past them and Jaan is like, "Are you heading out??" I was like super nervous cause I didn't want to be stalker like so I was like, "Ummm yeah, I'll see you guys tomorrow," and I hurried out of there. Haha. I know I'm the BIGGEST chicken shit alive. So slaughter me. Hahaha.

But it's a start right. I'm making a real connection with him, not just a hey here and there and teaching stuff. We will see what happens tomorrow. Maybe then I can get the guts to ask him out for a drink. He doesn't seem to be a coffee person and we were talking about drinking tonight and I think that might work better... I dunno. Only time will tell. Haha.

Have a good weekend ladies. I'm going to be out camping so I don't think I will be talking to any of you. Hope you have a good one!

Stuff

Horoscope

" The real thing is out there, but before it can come to you, you have to find the real thing within yourself. In other words, learn to love who you are and love will find you. That means all of you, not just the nice bits."

I think I need to start to listen to these things sometimes. I kinda like this one. Its got me thinking....

Anyhow, thanks for the few awesome days girls. I had fun and I miss you guys so much. I wish I could have gone to Cook with you guys last night it would have been awesome. Soon hopefully. Have a good rest of the weekend and talk to you later.

At school....

So I have like a 5 hour break between my classes on Tuesdays and I don't really feel like reading right now and I still have almost 4 hours left so I figured I would write a blog to catch you up. I don't go home suring this break because I feel it would be a waist of an hour to drive there and back and a waist of gas when really I can find stuff to do here, which clearly I am doing.

So the guy situation at the school doesn't look hopeful. Unlike the University which has like thousands of people the population here is small and a lot of the people are really artsy fartsy and totally not someone I would hang out with which makes it really weird to be here a lot of the time. I have only seen a few guys who I actually find attractive and one is married and another has a girlfriend so my hopes are small....

I am hoping to come to Edmonton soon to see you all I just have no idea when it's going to happen yet. I never know with this school. I mean so far I don't really get homework in Glass but I always have drawing to do and then there is Art History which you all know requires a lot of reading and looking at pictures and I'm so bad at memorizing that stuff. It doesn't help that I work at Ricky's and of course he always wants me working the weekend cause that's there busiest time and he really doesn't have enough servers to cover everything. I guess I will just have to book a weekend off. And then I was still planning on trying to come the a Wed, Thurs. Since I don't have class then so it might make it easier. I know you all have class but hopefully we can spend some time at night together and then I can visit some people from main and such.

I swear when you guys are in Calgary if you ever come here you will have to come see my school. The people here are so different. The building in weird. The art everywhere. Sooo crazy.

I don't know what else to say. That's like my life in a nutshell lately. Nothing exciting really going on. I haven't been out except like the weekend before school started. I really want to go to cook. I miss the bars in Edmonton and partying with you girls. It just isn't the same here without you... I will come soon. I promise!

Anyways, I guess I should go study or something useful. Cause I do have a lot of reading to do. Later all, talk to you soon.

PS. I finally finished my room. I will post a picture of it on here for you to see. And Leanne I will send you holiday pictures. I will try and do it tomorrow.

School, Life, Comments

Like Leanne said THE GOO GOO DOLLS are coming!!! I too am super excited. I was so stoked when I heard it on the radio last week, I was actually freaking out when I got to work. Of course I had to share the good news with everyone. Yeah I work with a bunch of 40+ people, they didn't share my excitement, they had never even heard of them. Haha. Oh well. They were happy I was happy. Although when I played them Better Days (they play that one on the radio all the time) they knew the song. So that's cool. I was excited all day. I of course had the dilemma of figuring out who to go with because it's in the middle of the week and Leanne would be the perfect person but it just wasn't going to work. Then I realized my cousin Kait loves that kind of music and when I asked her to go she said she would. So I am going. Booked my tickets and everything. SOOO excited. Should be a good time.

So I'm painting my room as most of you know I think. My msn name has mentioned it. I am getting there. It's looking good. I am excited. It will be nice to have brighter lighter colors in there, since I am going to be working in there on school work and stuff. Should be good. I will have to take pictures when I am done. :) Oh and I am getting new bathroom hardware stuff. Like toothpaste holder and cup and stuff. I'm excited. No more duckies!! I think I need something a little more mature..... and then I can paint that too!! Starting new here at home.

Now for school. I am excited. The school is cool and there were a lot of interesting people there. I still have to make some friends though, but I know that will take time. I'm scared about the work though. I have a feeling I will be at that school A LOT. Busy busy. But oh well. It's open crazy hours too. I can be there from 7 am until 1 am. CRAZY!! That's asking for trouble! Definitely mixed emotions on this one. I will let you know how it goes as the weeks progress. Pretty mudane at the moment.

Later Folks. Enjoy my blurb. Have fun at school. Don't party too hard without me!!! Love you.

News

So I started my new job at Ricky's restaurant this weekend. Learning to serve already. Kind of shadowing. It's good. I like it there. The girls I work with are super nice. The one girl that has been helping me, Aly, is so nice. I even drove her home today. I think it's going to be ok there. Once I start serving I should make some good tips though. I'm excited for that. It's going to keep me busy this school year that's for sure. I'm not even sure how often I am going to be able to get time off because their busiest times are weekends and I guess they are really hard to get time off with. The managers are chinese and a little high strung but it's all good. I'm just excited to be serving soon!!

Dani's b-day was awesome last weekend. I had a really good time. Gotta love dancing! And her friends are super nice too. I couldn't really expect much less though. :) I would love to party with them again. And I got my Barn Dance shirt. Now everyone can look at me funny and ask me about it because every time I mention where I was they look at me funny. Haha. I don't care, it's who I am.

I'm kind of excited for school to start but scared too. It's going to be weird.... especially not being in Edmonton. I am going to try and get up there as much as I can but I don't know how often that's going to be with school and work and such. Just gotta wait for school to start. Just about done at the airport!! It really sucked having to do a lot of paperwork this summer. I assumed working in the shop I would do less of that. YEAH RIGHT!! I'm the girl so I'm their bitch. Fuck that!! That's why I liked having Daniel around. I would help him with jobs that were more shop appropriate and he's a fun person to work with.

I really hope I meet some cool people at school and make some new friends, otherwise I am going to be lonely this year. I mean I have some friends here, but look how much I hung out with them this summer.... It doesn't look promising. I think I might make some friends with the girls I work with too which would be cool. I'm excited to be going to school here but sooo scared too. Once the first few weeks are over I think it will be better. :) A few more weeks and we are thrown back into the stressful life of school. YAY!!! not...

The only thing I am really excited for is the fact that I am painting my room. It is going to be super sweet. I will show you all pictures when I get it done. It might take awhile though cause I have to get all this shit out of my room first. Then I have to prime it and paint it. So it should be interesting. Plus I'm still working at the airport and I'm working at Ricky's like 4 days a week. Busy busy. Ah well it's better to make money and keep busy then be bored.

I'm looking forward to an interesting year! Hope to see you all soon. I miss you guys! Love you.

Emotional and confused...

I have no idea what is up with me but I am all over the map. The littlest things are setting me off in a whirlwind or emotion and confusion lately. I seriously watched a movie tonight and cried through like half of it. SAD I know. I think I'm just not sure what to expect coming this school year and my future. SOOO much is up in the air. I feel like my life is spinning out of control....

I am going to be living at home again, which is fine because I like it here, but I'm afraid things are going to go back to the way they used to be before I left, with my sister, and even myself. I feel like I have grown so much in the last 2 years and now I'm shrinking or something... I mean I'm sure I will make more friends here at school but it won't be the same. The people I really want to be with are going to be too far away for comfort.

Plus I still feel alone so much of the time and like I have no one to even just be with to enjoy the silence. My life is seriously depressing.

OMG listen to me. I am a sad excuse as a human being. Why do I even bother with it all. Would anyone even notice???

I'm scared.... of what my life is going to turn out like. Who am I going to be?? Will anyone notice????

Alright that's it. I'm a basket case and I really need to get over my self. Just had to clean out some emotions. Don't mind me.

Summer Update

So workin in the shop this summer is pretty awesome. Bruce is a good boss. I have a lot of fun with the guys. Although James Kowalski is still the work summer student on the planet. He stressses me out and I swear I have just about killed him 10 times. SO ANNOYING. I have hit him thats for sure. DIE JAMES DIE!! Actually everyone hates him. I'm not sure why he comes back everyday. It's ok though I am going to holidays tomorrow and I will be away form him for 2 weeks. :)

I can't wait to be in Idaho. It sucks that this is going to be the last summer. They had to close it on me.... I'm going to enjoy it as much as I can though. And I'm excited that Leanne is coming for a week too because it sucks not being in the same city and not being able to hang out all the time. :( I miss you L and you too Alison. Life is quite here without you.

I found out last night that I will probably have to get a new camera in a few years because the memory card for mine is discontinued. Sucky! So not fair.

Incase someone doesn't know yet it also looks like I won't be going back to Edmonton this year. I didn't get in at the U of A and I did at ACAD here in Calgary so it looks like that's where I am going. It should be fun but not the same because I won't have you guys. Looks like I will be making trips to Edmonton this year instead of Calgary. I'm going to miss you guys!!!

Nothing else has changed though. I am still a loser with no friends here and I sit at home and do nothing and I am still single and it looks like it will be that way for awhile. Hope to see you all soon.

Kimmy

July Long

This weekend was SOOOOO much fun. Thanks for taking my Dani. I haven't been camping in southern Alberta in years and I saw a whole bunch of it this weekend. We went to Dani's cabin which was super awesome and so cute. The best part was for sure the Barn Dance. That is probably the most fun I have had all summer other then the time I went to Edmonton and out with Leanne. But this Barn Dance was good. I had fun and pretty much got a workout in too with all the dancing I did. Then the last 3 dances of the night I danced with this cowboy. He is from Australia but has been here for about 10 years. He is an electrician has a house in Cardsten. He is a pretty good singer. Very nice. The funny thing is I didn't think to ask his age. I would say he was mid to late 20's though. When I went back to Dani after she's like you should go hang out with him for the fire works. But I couldn't do it. I thought it would be weird. But I should have. :P But I might get to see him again if I go out there with Dani again. Apparently he pretty much goes there every weekend so who knows. I went to the lake where my parents were Sunday and had fish and went wakeboarding and landed my 180's twice and I went skiing today. It was a good weekend all around. But I just thought I would share my happiness. :) Hope you all had a good one. Luv yeah.

Update

The University is officially stupid. So I talked to someone today in Art and Design and they have my portfolio and they did not send out the second letter. The office of the registrar sent it out, and they must have screwed up or got their info backward. And I hate them for it because they stressed me out and gave me hope and its all gone again. God I hate life sometimes. Grrr. I will get over it but I would like to ring someone's neck for it. Just thought I would let you all know. Not much else to tell.... Talk to you all later.

IS THE UNIVERSITY TRYING TO STRESS ME OUT????

They are doing a dame good job if that is their intention. As you all know I got the letter a few weeks ago saying I was not accepted to the Design program. I was upset but dealing with it. Trying to decide what I am going to do next year, because I can always go into Art and Design which is easier to get into and I can take most of the same classes. Anyways, Thursday night I got another letter from them telling me why I was not accepted into the program. It said that they did not receive my portfolio by May 1st. THAT IS A LOAD OF FUCKING CRAP!!!!! I handed it in the day I left. April 28th. It was there. I have the FUCKING RECEIPT!!! So of course I was freaking out. I called the university yesterday to figure out what the fuck is going on. I talk to a guy at the admissions office and he looked at my file and told me that it looks like it says they don't have my portfolio. I would really like to know WHERE THE HELL IT COULD HAVE GONE. If I did not get in because of this and I could have but can't now because it's too late I am going to BLOW A FUSE!!! I seriously don't know if I can go back to the University and take the Arts degree knowing I could be in Design if the U of A hadn't screwed this up. THIS IS MY FUTURE THEY ARE MESSING WITH!!! AAAAARRRGGGGGG!!

That isn't all though. I talked to that admissions guy and he said that I need to speak to someone in the Faculty of Arts directly to figure out the issue. That's fine, he gives me the number and transfers me. Well the dame woman that is supposed to take care of students IS ON FUCKING VACATION!!!! I know everyone has the right to a vacay but THIS IS NOT A GOOD TIME FOR ME. So yeah she is gone for another like week and a half. She left a number of another lady to talk to if it is an emergency. I called her but she didn't answer her phone either. I can't win seriously. But I left a message. If she does not call me back Monday I will be calling back and finding SOMEONE to take care of this issue because I CAN NOT WAIT A WEEK!!!

But I guess there is an upside to this in any case. If they find my portfolio they I may just have a chance of still getting in. A very small chance but a chance none the less. So cross your fingers and hope girls. I need all the luck I can get apparently. Hope you all have a great weekend. :)

Good Weekend in E-town

So this weekend was a good time all around I thought. Driving with Dani to Edmonton and back was a good time. We had great fun speedying by people and mooing at cows and singing. And I had fun chilling with Leanne and eating Dairy Queen icecream and seeing her cousin and going out to Cook. I always loved partying at Cook. Me and Leanne had a good talk there, at the bar, a weird place for it yes but it was fun. Then we had McDicks which was quite satisfying. :) Coloring Leanne's hair was a good time too. And then I had dinner with Dani and her parents, which was fun and nice as well. It helped cheer me up and made things easier. Too many thoughts and decisions t to make about school right now.... And I have a headache now because my family was fighting tonight, I was trying to avoid it but the house is only so big. I guess you can't always get away from it. Now I'm kinda stressed though. I think it's bed time. No more reading for me tonight. Love you all. Talk to you soon.

My body hurts....

Well May long weekend was awesome. I partied a little, was outside most of the weekend and enjoyed the sun. I got a bit of a burn on my face but it's pretty minor. My muscles however are suffering. I went wakeboarding and waterskiing for the first time yesterday, my god it is hard on the body. I have forgotten. I need to get in better shape. I think I might get a membership at the YMCA. :) So yeah. Life isn't too bad. Tired now though. I might be getting a second job at Shank's so I will let you know what happens with that. Breif summery. I have a very large headache from being out in the sun and getting wiplash yesterday, so I will talk to you later. :)