I want my old life back

You know it's not that I haven't enjoyed the last year or that ACAD is a bad school. I just miss the consistency of my old life. Of who I used to be. I mean University changed me in a way, I broke out of my shell a bit. But my life now is just making me crazy. I was happy before with friends, random make outs with randoms, school stress, whatever. I mean now, I have work to do but it's different. I seem to have more free time, maybe because I finish a lot of stuff at school, and the work load is different. I mean don't get me wrong the stress I used to deal with wasn't that great but it felt so normal. I don't feel normal anymore. School doesn't make me stressed, and it almost makes me feel unaccomplished. I also got used to sort of liking guys from a distance and moving on. With Jaan I see him so much and I have gotten so hooked that I am finding it so hard to escape. I want to because I know that it only makes me upset I just haven't figured out how I'm going to do it yet. I just have to make it through 2 more months. And then I may never see him again. Can I do it? The worst part is I can't just stop visiting the glass department because I have made some really good friends and I would miss seeing them. I'm not sure who I would hang out with. Haha. I barely go out as it is. The point is I think the stress in my life is more personal now then before. School stress and this stress is so much different. I would rather be stressed about tests right now. This messing with my emotions thing sucks and you guys know me, I can be a pretty emotional person as it is so this is terrible. You know this makes me do the what if too. Like what if I had gotten in at the U of A. What would have happened. What if I stayed in Sciences. Really it's the what the fuck am I going to do now thing. I dunno. I really have no idea. I wish I knew what I even wanted. I don't even know what I want to be. How do I go to school for something if I don't know what that something is. I am starting to think I should find another school and go there and really get away from here. Like move to BC or East coast. I dunno. I looked up some architecture schools online one day, and I was thinking about it. I wish I didn't have to make choices. Unfortunately for me my family is terrible at making choices. I think I need to seriously sit down and consider my options. Leave everyone out of it and figure out what I need to do for me. Even if that means going to a very strange place and knowing no one. I mean who am I going to rely on if I move out to the East. I will know no one. THOUGHTS THOUGHTS THOUGHTS.