That's all I wanted

Well Jaan sent me a long text message tonight. Haha. When I got it I really didn't want to read it. I don't know why but I was like I don't know if I want and answer, even though I was hoping all day he would message me back. I'm crazy I know. Anyways, I actually got Kelsey to read it first. She was laughing because his text messages are usually pretty crazy. Anyways, basically it said that he got all my messages (I'm thinking he's thinking I'm a stalker) and that he was sorry for not answering back. Then he tells me the whole situation why he hasn't been answering me. Basically he has been talking to his ex, who really hasn't been his ex for all that long and it's really got him confused. I am having flash backs to my sister and Nick breaking up and getting back together a few times, so I can kind of understand where he is coming from. He said he doesn't know what's going on up in his head. So obviously I need to give him some space to work shit out, and I can't be bitter about that, it's fair. The only part that kind of bugged me was that he said he appreciated me. That is kind of a weird way to say that you enjoy someones company. I'm not so sure for the better for me. But at least I know now. I felt like such a stupid ass before, and embarrassed. I was leaving the school today when I finally saw him. I was going to wish him a happy birthday but I couldn't get the guts to do it, so I walked right past. I felt like such an idiot. I did send him a text message though and he said thanks for the message so that's good at least. It's weird because I am kind of sad now, knowing the truth, but I feel so much better knowing. Maybe I can move on now. I think before I got ideas in my head that I could steal him away, because some people were telling me they have seen it happen. But now that he might be getting back together with her and it seems like he isn't really interested in that way I have finally seen the light. Like I said, I'm still sad and obviously I'm not getting over him instantly but maybe it will be easier now. I feel different, like I know. I would still love to be his friend, and I think we could have a lot of fun, just no more then that. Looking for someone new!