Almost done first semester at ACAD

So I had my two written finals yesterday. Art History was average. I'd say I got a 75%. Humanities wasn't too bad either I guess. Maybe the same as Art History. At least they are over now though. I have my glass critique Friday. I just finished one project but I still have another to do. Monday is my Drawing crit. I have to redue a few drawings for that one. I think this is going to be a busy weekend. Anyway, I am glad I am almost done. It wasn't too bad at all. Next semester is going to be a little more difficult however. So we shall see. Good luck with all your exams guys!

Essays = boo earns

So I hate essays and I am really terrible at them. I mean I did ok on my art history one but he gave us a lot of the information we needed to know and I did my research so I found it pretty easy to write. This essay however, sucks! I mean I know about the gender issues in the past and woman's lack or rights but it still sucks. We have to watch a movie, which I did, Pride and Prejudice and write about it in the viewpoint of one of the authors that we read about this semester. Well this lady that I am writing as is a feminist so you would think it would be easy. It doesn't seem to be. Do you realize how hard it is to write as another person? You are talking about their values and views on society. I mean how the hell am I supposed to know? It is coming along, but it won't be the best thing I have ever written. Plus I still have to study for my 2 finals which are just as important as this essay. Oh well. The craziness will end soon. Peace.

school, life, whatever comes my way

So I got my art history paper back on Tuesday and I killed it! I did really well and I am very proud of myself. So hopefully I will do ok on the final and then come out of the class with like a B. That would be nice. Humanities I don't know what is happening. I still have a lot to study for and I still haven't started my paper and I have class all day tomorrow and I work Saturday and I have class all day Monday and then it's due Tuesday, so I think I can say I fucked myself over, but that's my problem. Oh and I have a drawing I should do in there too but I don't know if I will have the time. We shall see. But class is getting to the point where it is almost over. After next Tuesday I am home free I think.

On another note, I am SOOOO excited that I am getting my tattoo. 2 weeks from today. Should be awesome. I'm not worried about it at all so I figure thats a good sign. I should come with you guys when you get your piercings done just cause I think it would be cool. Depends on when you get them I guess.

Not too much else is new. I have realized that I am going to be bored during my break and that I will for sure need to spend time with you guys cause I can't come to the school after the 22nd and thats like all I ever do. It's sad. Haha. Dani we should go see a movie when you get home.

Oh and I still have x-mas shopping to do, but I'm not too worried about it. It will have to wait till next week thats for sure.

I think that's it. I really don't have much to say. Hope you are having a good day. Later girls.

XOXO

back in the fast lane...

This year has been going not to bad. School has been pretty good and and not too stressful and I have fun every once and awhile. But I have discovered that I have a lot going on in the next few weeks and I have a feeling I'm going to freak. I have had class as usual this week. However, I was at school almost all day yesterday working on some of my glass pieces to finish them. Then we went to the musical Aladdin which was nothing like the Disney movie but very funny. Today I have to catch up on some of school work. Tonight we are going to zoo lights. Tomorrow I have class then I am helping Britt make Christmas balls because she needs someone to assist and she said she would pay me. Then I am going out with my sis to this pub for this guy Erik's b-day. Then I am coming to see you girls on the weekend. Then in the next couple of weeks I have my finals, an essay due, a final Glass crit which I have no idea what I am going to do for my project and my drawing crit.

It's going to be crazy. Oh and my work Christmas party is somewhere in there too if I decide to go in on it. And then there is shopping for x-mas gifts which I haven't even started looking for yet. It will be nice when x-mas break rolls around, although I am sure I will keep myself busy then too. I am actually scared that my manager is going to decide to book me a whole bunch and I don't think I want to or that I will have the time. So I have been thinking about quiting. Because he was like news years day morning is really busy and he needs a lot of people to work. I don't want to work new years day. I dunno. Am I being selfish?

So I am getting my tattoo. It's official. I booked my appointment and put a $60 deposit down. So unless I want to loose $60 bucks for nothing I'm getting it. December 21st!! It's exciting but I am scared too. You know me, always questioning my decisions and scared of all the actions I take. My dad is going to hate me. That part will be shitty. But I trully feel that if I am going to get one this is the time in my life I should get one. I'm in art school, I don't really know where my life is headed and I'm still a bit of a kid and I feel like I can be reckless now because I might not be a few years from now.

Mind is all over the place as usual....

mixed emotions

I can't seem to keep myself on a constant lately. You know it's weird, ever since I have been home that's when so much seems confusing to me. Being with you guys kept me on some sort of straight path and when I came home I hit some Saskatchewan road and I was in trouble. I mean it's not that it's bad here, because there are a lot of good things, it's just that I miss you guys, and having girlfriends and someone to talk to. I realized today that I basically have no one to talk to in person here that I trust and feel comfortable with other than my sister. And sometimes things go beyond a sisters understanding or interest. I miss my best friends :'( . I am definitely thinking it would be wise to quit my job just so I can come to Edmonton more because I need someone.

This is one of those times when I MISS YOU ALL SOOOO MUCH!!

Anyways, the many things toying with my emotions right now fall under the following:

Bad Things: guys, school, no friends, work, unknown future, and my body.

Good Things: guys, school (glass blowing specifically), getting a tattoo, making money, and my hair (I love my hair right now haha)

I wish I could learn how to go with the flow and enjoy.

Mini story. We (meaning my sis and I) were telling my mom today about going to a tattoo place today to check it out. Well she asked for who. I said all of us (our family friend Matt was there as well). And all she said was your getting another one (which was obviously directed at my sister who is going to have 3 soon). She didn't even acknowledge the fact that I am getting one at all. So I don't know if she knew it was going to happen or if she missed the point. We shall see.

Went to Regina this last weekend and it was the most uneventful weekend of my life. We left at like 8 pm Friday night. It's an 8 hour drive. Usually I sleep but I was up for at least the first 6 maybe 7 hours. I watched Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Swim Fan and watched my sister play Sim's most of the way. Once we arrived in Regina at 4 am we went to bed and got up at 9 to go see my grandpa. We spent all day in his tiny apartment except for a very short shopping trip that was unsuccessful because a lot of things were closed for the holiday. I slept probably half of the time I was there on his floor. Then we went back to our hotel and I began to watch Harry Potter. Got up the next morning and went to visit grandpa again. We were there for probably 4 hours and once again I probably slept for half of it. I also finished watching Harry Potter. Then we left for home. The 8 hour trip home was once again uneventful. I slept, watched Mulan 2, and contemplated life the whole way home. Monday was the most interesting day of the whole weekend and guess what guys, I spent a good portion of it at school in the Hot Shop (glass blowing well watching), and writing my Art History paper which turned out not too bad I think.

So yeah that should catch you up for awhile. Hope to see you all in a few weeks if I can make it up to Edmonton. Lots of love.

Today was one of the good days

The Goo Goo Dolls concert was awesome tonight. They were so good and it was nice to see Kait and it made me happy. I was at school for most of the afternoon which was also good. Being at school makes me happy. Being with other students and working in the glass department. I think thats why I want to major in it because it makes me happy and that's what I want for my life. Plus the awesome people in that department help. Today was the 4th years class so I saw them working and I got to see one of their demos which was super cool. It's almost like and addiction for me now... Haha. I'm kinda sad that friday is going to be the last christmas ball blowing night though. I have been to them all and I can only stay for part of this one and they are going out after which sucks cause I am going to miss the social part. The one time they are going for drinks and I can't go. :( Oh well. Regina her I come. Hope you all have an awesome weekend!

sad, pathetic life

So I went out Tuesday for Halloween and had an awesome good time and somehow got drunk (obviously people were buying me drinks) on $15. It was sweet. I danced and chilled and it was sooo nice to just get out and have a life. I got the pictures back today too and they are awesome. So many randoms that I will probably never see again. Actually kinda funny. Although I didn't make out with anyone, just random pictures. Haha. But anyways, really that has been the extent of my social life for this semester.

Dave said something about not having a social life when you are in art school. I was thinking about what he said and I'm like you have a social life, what are you talking about. It may be with some of the people you go to school with but I can guarantee they have been out a lot more than me this semester and they do have a social life. Me on the other hand, with you guys not here, I don't really have one. Seriously for me it's either work, home or school. And my life is so sad that I get bored and go shopping because I have nothing better to do with my time. Do you realize how depressing that is. And on another note, most of the glass department anyways has a significant other, I don't. Also included in a social life. I would love to tell him that. But I won't.

You know I think the worst part is, I still like Jaan. It's not that easy for me this time. I can't seem to let it go. And that sucks even more cause I can't do anything about it and I wish that I had more of a social life because that would distract me and possibly attract me to another person who is actually available. This is one of those times when I wonder what if.... I had say hung out with Chris more often or went out when Woz would call me drunk. But then I think it wasn't right at the time why would it make life better now. I have serious issues people. And I still have to write an Art History paper due in just over a week and I am going to be in Regina next weekend which shoots down my time period to write it and I still have no idea what I am even writing on. I'm fucked. I think I have allowed myself to fall behind thinking I was ok and now I'm screwed.

I will probably apply for U of A again for next year but I can't see myself getting in and then I will probably apply for design at ACAD but they only take so many as well and EVERYONE in first year seems to want to get in design, shot down again and even my idea of majoring in glass blowing might have a hole in it cause they only take so many people and having a good GPA helps you get in. I'm seriously fucked. What the hell am I going to do???? Having to deal with this sucks. And it totally doesn't help that I am PMSing because my emotions are all over the place as usual. Fuck, that's all I have to say at the moment. Hope all your lives are currently better then mine! Love you.

for sure

So I talked to Shawn. And Ross did have his phone Saturday. He asked me what he said and im like well he said that he wishes i was there and he thinks about me. He didn't answer back though. This was a text message. Anyhow, the point is it's still kind of creepy. Plus I am not even in that city. It's too weird for me. I told my sister about it and shes like why not. I'm like is Ross I'm just not comfortable with that. Plus I'm not attracted to him. Anyways just wanted you to know.

craziest message... leads to a story!

So... tonight I was checking my voicemail cause it said I had 2 unheard messages. I was like really... cause I hadn't noticed any missed calls. Well the first one was from my mom the other night and I just hadn't deleted it. Then the second message comes on a it's a guys voice, not what I was suspecting and the messages starts, "Hey, you know who this is." I was like what the fuck. So I hang up and check my missed calls. Sure enough there was one on there but it hadn't shown on my phone this morning. Weird... And I was thinking it couldn't be, but it was, Shawn Mcmaster had called me. Leanne you know Shawn. In fact Dani and Ali you have met him too, at Cook for my b-day the first year. You know who I'm talking about. The guy I was in love with. Anyhow. I had to listen to the message again. It was sent at like 1:30 am though so I'm not really sure what to think. But here is the gist of the message:

"Hey, you know who this is. Wish you were here. I could give you the time of your life. Wish you were here. I've been thinking about you a lot for awhile. I just wanted you to know that your always on my mind."

That isn't exactly the wording obviously, but you get the idea. But I listened to the message a few more times and it doesn't really sound like Shawn. Now I'm starting to think it was Ross on Shawn's phone, cause thats who it sounds like. I think Leanne is the only one who knows him... Where the hell was he going with that message. It seriously bothers me. Mostly because I have always liked Shawn, but also because I don't like Ross like that. He is quite a bit older too, like 27. Thats too old for me I think. Interesting but frustrating. Now I'm curious....

Anyhow. My weekend pretty much sucked cause I worked late yesterday and didn't end up going out to party like I was supposed to. I wish I could have. So work was all I did. Shitty. But I am looking forward to Tuesday. I will be done my humanities midterm and I am going to dress like a whore, go out to the bar, get fucking loaded and dance. Which I miss doing very much. Haha. wish you were here, or that I was there. Love you. I will try to call this week to chat.

With love,

Kim

It has been confirmed...

I met the girlfriend tonight. "Kim this is my girlfriend Terri, Terri this is Kim." Hahaha. So shes real. I seriously found out more about her and them in 15 minutes then I have about Jaan in weeks. Haha. She met him in his second semester of first year. Which means they have been dating for almost 3 years. She goes to the U fo C. She rides a horse. She is blonde and very pretty. She is also very nice, and they are cute together.

It's funny cause it kind of sucks but at the same time its good for me cause now that I know for sure and have met her I can move on. I'm weird like that. So that's my random story for today. And my feet hurt and I hate heels. Bad news.

Peace

Sorry its PISCES!!

NOTE: Don't bother to read if tired of listening to my boy troubles!

Sooo, I am still hooked. On Jaan if you were wondering or had any doubt. Seriously I think I need some help. I know he has a girlfriend, if he does cause it still seems weird to me but I can't help it. I like him more all the time. Really I'm just sucking myself into a deeper pit of future disappointment. I am a sad excuse for a human being. And you know I have almost been in a situation just like this one before, where I didn't have a chance and I know what happens but it doesn't seem to matter. Don't mind my rambling I'm not sure I know what I am saying.

Anyways, a few explanations as to why. He's hot, has an awesome smile, makes me laugh, he is very talented, very carefree (which I wish I could be), and says things that make me think he is flirting. And on top of that, I finally saw his new tattoo tonight. Yeah wanna know what it's of.... A pieces symbol in this crazy wave like thing. Yeah you know, the similar idea of what I have been planning to get for like a year and a half now but haven't had the guts to do but have wanted to do more since I have come to an art school and it's an art thing to do. (Very long sentence).

I think this officially sucks. However I don't think I could give up hanging out in the glass studios because I do have fun down there. And who knows, maybe I will become a glass blower.

FRUSTRATED

hurt :( .....

This sucks. You know when you have a feeling, like there is a chance he has a girlfriend sucks, but when you find out it's a reality it's just plain depressing. You know it stupid. It's not like I'm close with him or anything, but I'm upset. I really wish I wasn't because it would make this whole process easier. The other thing is it would make it a lot easier if I didn't see him to get over the situation because I have been sort of in this place before but that isn't possible. I see him every day that I'm at school. It's not like I can even really avoid him if I wanted to. Which is another sad thing that I don't. I still like him, and probably will for awhile but I'm hoping that maybe we can just be friends. Because those would be nice to have near by now too. I am SO glad I didn't ask him out now though. Imagine the embarrassment. That would have made this situation even worse. Fuck this sucks!! Talk about changing a persons happiness in one day....

Thanksgiving Weekend

So I had a pretty good weekend. It was mostly uneventful. Ate a lot of food, studied some, played cards, sang songs, drank and that's about it. It was nice to chill though. I am super tired today though. Probably because camping and sleeping in the cook shack on the floor isn't the best sleep ever and I kept waking up last night which sucked. And of course I was still distracted with my guy situation. I figure if I don't so it this week I never will. So I either have to ask him out or just give up on the situation. Wanna know something really funny though, even some of the adults this weekend along with all the kids are all telling me to ask him out just like you guys. I'm like I wish it was that easy. And then there is Dan (Leanne you know Dan) well he decides to give me and idea for asking Jaan out. He was slightly intoxicated but I laughed so hard, as did everyone else. He told me I should go up to him and say, " Hey do you like boobs, cause I have some." Haha. I don't know how well that would work if it didn't freak him out and if I did have the guts to ask him out like I would say anything close to that! Haha. So that was my eventful weekend. Hope yours was good. Talk to you later.

P.S. - Always after thoughts

I FORGOT to tell you. So I pulled out my phone and he's like hey we have the same phone. Oh wait yours doesn't have a camera. Then later he put on this suit so he could pick up the lobster when it wasn't done and the heat wouldn't bother him. Well this suit is like shiny metallic, and he called it the alien suit. He asked me to take a picture of him with his phone is this suit. But I stood there forever waiting. And then his memory totally turned out to be full. But I was thinking after, I was like it so would have been smart to either look at his phone and find his number cause obviously it's stored on there or I could have put mine in there. But that may have been a little obsessive or creepy and stalker like, but so funny and possibly flirty at the same time. I dunno. So yeah, my thoughts.

-Kim

Guy Update

Sooo this is what I have for you so far. His name is Jaan as I have told you. I went into the school today to scope things out and maybe get a chat in and such. Well I was there at about 4:15 and I went and talked to Dave, this other 4th year about this peice he made, which was cool but unfortunatly cracked. Then I realized it was another first year class and saw people I know so I chatted for a bit. Then I went out into the hall to sit on the bench and guess who shows up. Jann. :)

Of course I wasn't surprised because those 2 are almost always around somewhere. So anyways he had one of his sculptural pieces and I was commenting about it and he was showing me stuff about it and it was a cool moment. Then he left for a bit to coat it. But at like 5:00 he came back cause they had some some space booked in the hotshop. So for like 2 hours I talked with Jaan and and a few random people who came and went and we watched Dave make a lobster. Yeah dudes, a lobster out of glass. Like seriously cool. Hahaha.

Anyways, it was a good night. I was SOOOO glad I went. Haha. And I learned his background is Swedish and that he was born in Toronto and moved here when he was like 10. I know stuff you probably don't really care about but I feel like sharing cause I'm happy. :) Anyhow it was 7:00 and they were done and I wasn't sure what they were doing but I figured I should go home, so I went past them and Jaan is like, "Are you heading out??" I was like super nervous cause I didn't want to be stalker like so I was like, "Ummm yeah, I'll see you guys tomorrow," and I hurried out of there. Haha. I know I'm the BIGGEST chicken shit alive. So slaughter me. Hahaha.

But it's a start right. I'm making a real connection with him, not just a hey here and there and teaching stuff. We will see what happens tomorrow. Maybe then I can get the guts to ask him out for a drink. He doesn't seem to be a coffee person and we were talking about drinking tonight and I think that might work better... I dunno. Only time will tell. Haha.

Have a good weekend ladies. I'm going to be out camping so I don't think I will be talking to any of you. Hope you have a good one!

Stuff

Horoscope

" The real thing is out there, but before it can come to you, you have to find the real thing within yourself. In other words, learn to love who you are and love will find you. That means all of you, not just the nice bits."

I think I need to start to listen to these things sometimes. I kinda like this one. Its got me thinking....

Anyhow, thanks for the few awesome days girls. I had fun and I miss you guys so much. I wish I could have gone to Cook with you guys last night it would have been awesome. Soon hopefully. Have a good rest of the weekend and talk to you later.

At school....

So I have like a 5 hour break between my classes on Tuesdays and I don't really feel like reading right now and I still have almost 4 hours left so I figured I would write a blog to catch you up. I don't go home suring this break because I feel it would be a waist of an hour to drive there and back and a waist of gas when really I can find stuff to do here, which clearly I am doing.

So the guy situation at the school doesn't look hopeful. Unlike the University which has like thousands of people the population here is small and a lot of the people are really artsy fartsy and totally not someone I would hang out with which makes it really weird to be here a lot of the time. I have only seen a few guys who I actually find attractive and one is married and another has a girlfriend so my hopes are small....

I am hoping to come to Edmonton soon to see you all I just have no idea when it's going to happen yet. I never know with this school. I mean so far I don't really get homework in Glass but I always have drawing to do and then there is Art History which you all know requires a lot of reading and looking at pictures and I'm so bad at memorizing that stuff. It doesn't help that I work at Ricky's and of course he always wants me working the weekend cause that's there busiest time and he really doesn't have enough servers to cover everything. I guess I will just have to book a weekend off. And then I was still planning on trying to come the a Wed, Thurs. Since I don't have class then so it might make it easier. I know you all have class but hopefully we can spend some time at night together and then I can visit some people from main and such.

I swear when you guys are in Calgary if you ever come here you will have to come see my school. The people here are so different. The building in weird. The art everywhere. Sooo crazy.

I don't know what else to say. That's like my life in a nutshell lately. Nothing exciting really going on. I haven't been out except like the weekend before school started. I really want to go to cook. I miss the bars in Edmonton and partying with you girls. It just isn't the same here without you... I will come soon. I promise!

Anyways, I guess I should go study or something useful. Cause I do have a lot of reading to do. Later all, talk to you soon.

PS. I finally finished my room. I will post a picture of it on here for you to see. And Leanne I will send you holiday pictures. I will try and do it tomorrow.

School, Life, Comments

Like Leanne said THE GOO GOO DOLLS are coming!!! I too am super excited. I was so stoked when I heard it on the radio last week, I was actually freaking out when I got to work. Of course I had to share the good news with everyone. Yeah I work with a bunch of 40+ people, they didn't share my excitement, they had never even heard of them. Haha. Oh well. They were happy I was happy. Although when I played them Better Days (they play that one on the radio all the time) they knew the song. So that's cool. I was excited all day. I of course had the dilemma of figuring out who to go with because it's in the middle of the week and Leanne would be the perfect person but it just wasn't going to work. Then I realized my cousin Kait loves that kind of music and when I asked her to go she said she would. So I am going. Booked my tickets and everything. SOOO excited. Should be a good time.

So I'm painting my room as most of you know I think. My msn name has mentioned it. I am getting there. It's looking good. I am excited. It will be nice to have brighter lighter colors in there, since I am going to be working in there on school work and stuff. Should be good. I will have to take pictures when I am done. :) Oh and I am getting new bathroom hardware stuff. Like toothpaste holder and cup and stuff. I'm excited. No more duckies!! I think I need something a little more mature..... and then I can paint that too!! Starting new here at home.

Now for school. I am excited. The school is cool and there were a lot of interesting people there. I still have to make some friends though, but I know that will take time. I'm scared about the work though. I have a feeling I will be at that school A LOT. Busy busy. But oh well. It's open crazy hours too. I can be there from 7 am until 1 am. CRAZY!! That's asking for trouble! Definitely mixed emotions on this one. I will let you know how it goes as the weeks progress. Pretty mudane at the moment.

Later Folks. Enjoy my blurb. Have fun at school. Don't party too hard without me!!! Love you.

News

So I started my new job at Ricky's restaurant this weekend. Learning to serve already. Kind of shadowing. It's good. I like it there. The girls I work with are super nice. The one girl that has been helping me, Aly, is so nice. I even drove her home today. I think it's going to be ok there. Once I start serving I should make some good tips though. I'm excited for that. It's going to keep me busy this school year that's for sure. I'm not even sure how often I am going to be able to get time off because their busiest times are weekends and I guess they are really hard to get time off with. The managers are chinese and a little high strung but it's all good. I'm just excited to be serving soon!!

Dani's b-day was awesome last weekend. I had a really good time. Gotta love dancing! And her friends are super nice too. I couldn't really expect much less though. :) I would love to party with them again. And I got my Barn Dance shirt. Now everyone can look at me funny and ask me about it because every time I mention where I was they look at me funny. Haha. I don't care, it's who I am.

I'm kind of excited for school to start but scared too. It's going to be weird.... especially not being in Edmonton. I am going to try and get up there as much as I can but I don't know how often that's going to be with school and work and such. Just gotta wait for school to start. Just about done at the airport!! It really sucked having to do a lot of paperwork this summer. I assumed working in the shop I would do less of that. YEAH RIGHT!! I'm the girl so I'm their bitch. Fuck that!! That's why I liked having Daniel around. I would help him with jobs that were more shop appropriate and he's a fun person to work with.

I really hope I meet some cool people at school and make some new friends, otherwise I am going to be lonely this year. I mean I have some friends here, but look how much I hung out with them this summer.... It doesn't look promising. I think I might make some friends with the girls I work with too which would be cool. I'm excited to be going to school here but sooo scared too. Once the first few weeks are over I think it will be better. :) A few more weeks and we are thrown back into the stressful life of school. YAY!!! not...

The only thing I am really excited for is the fact that I am painting my room. It is going to be super sweet. I will show you all pictures when I get it done. It might take awhile though cause I have to get all this shit out of my room first. Then I have to prime it and paint it. So it should be interesting. Plus I'm still working at the airport and I'm working at Ricky's like 4 days a week. Busy busy. Ah well it's better to make money and keep busy then be bored.

I'm looking forward to an interesting year! Hope to see you all soon. I miss you guys! Love you.