cool

I died my hair too!! It was supposed to be a brown with a reddish ting. It kinda looks almost blonde that is verry red. It was supposed to be darker.... Oh well I guess I will have to do something different next time. :)

:)

I am feeling so much better now that I am home and done with my stupid exams. I just needed to get the physics over with. I think I was scared of it. I still am considering I haven't got my mark back yet. I hope you are all having a wonderful time and I hope to talk to you all soon. Don't party too hard this holiday season!! ;) Love you all and talk to you soon.

fucking die

I seriously hate life right now. Like really hate it. What is the point. I dunno. Cause I am a failure. The only thing I have to look forward to is going home if I don't kill myself first. Like seriously. If I fail out of University it will because of this stupid Economics course. I HATE IT. A LOT. IT IS A FUCKING PIECE OF SHIT. I SWEAR TO GOD IF I COULD BEAT IT UP RIGHT NOW I WOULD, TO DEATH. THIS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MY EASY CLASS. YA RIGHT. I think those were my hardest tests of the semester. Harder then biology. That's just wrong, and so unfair. Now I have no inclination to study for Physics but obviously I have to or I really will fail out of University. Not that I will make it into the program I want next year anyways and then I will be living at home again being a bum cause I'm stupid. I don't even know why I should come back next semester. I mean the classes I am taking pretty much have nothing to do with anything and it will probably be more a waist of my time and money and stress me out and shorten my life span. Like seriously. Why do I put myself through this. I really have no idea. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I mean I am looking forward to my Human Sexuality course cause I'm sure it will be interesting but once again no use to me cause I don't seem to attract any guys and clearly I'm not having sex so yeah.... I am going to go wollow in my own self pitty now, take some Tylenol for the headache I have created and maybe have a nap until me and Leanne go tanning. That is the only thing that is fun or that I have to look forward to right now. How sad is that... hmmm

i dont wanna study.

I don't wanna study I don't wanna study. do do do. i hate studying i hate studying do do do. i wanna go home i wanna go home. do do do. :) just 2 more. i can do this!

HOME IN 3!

I can't wait to go home. I am so excited. It is so close now. Yet so far. I didn't study at all really yesterday and I NEED to study for Econ and Physics. I don't know what I was doing. I just couldn't. A bunch of people weren't studying but most of them don't have 2 tests left. I am an idiot. Oh well. Three days I will be home and done with this shiznit. Yay Christmas!!! I'm so excited. I still have to pack today too cause I won't be doing it tomorrow cause I have a test then I have to study for Physics and then after my test Tuesday my dad is coming... But i guess I have a few hours in there to do it. But really is that enough?? Ok I have to go. STUDY!!!!

grrr

I am getting really tired of these headaches. I mean really. Tylenol just isn't working. Grrrr. Oh well what can you do. I'm going to bed now. Get a good night sleep before my first exam. That's the paln. And today was a good day. I got a lot of studying done, had some good food, chilled for awhile, came back and chatted with Dani. I think I am confident and ready for this test. I will be ok!! :) Night all!

aaaahhhh

My head hurts, I'm tired, and once again not wanting to study and having serious issues trying. WHY is it so hard for me to study right now. Really why am I having such issues. I need to get my shit together SOMEHOW!!! AAAHHHHH. Fuck me!

meh

Clearly I have failed to write anything in awhile, and none of it has been all that interesting. It's sad really. My life just isn't that exciting anymore. I mean school has takin a lot of it over. I realized the other day that I really haven't been out that much this year, and I really don't know why. Just don't want to or just not the right people. I dunno. This year is so much different than last year and things have just changed. Where I stand school wise and what I am doing is so up in the air. I mean me and Dani can't even guarantee that we will be living here next year. I hate uncertainty.

I'm really worried with exams coming up, because I have to do well on them but at the same time I can't seem to find the motivation to study. I mean I think what the real problem is I don't care what in the class but at the same time I need to raise my GPA. Like my Bio classes, I have already decided that I will never need them for anything that I might be going into yet I am still finishing them. So i guess I don't care much if I actually learn what I need to know. What a bad place to be in, really. But I have nxt semester to look forward too which I hope will be as much fun yet still not that fun as I think it will be. All I can do is hope I guess.

So ya the only real exciting thing that has happened in my life lately is going out to Cook County Wednesday night which turned out to be a really fun time. I got really drunk and I was quite happy. It helped that I got my secret santa gift that night too. I miss wakeboarding so much it's not even funny. It actually makes me kinda depressed. It is the one thing that I know I'm pretty good at and that I have fun doing. I mean why can't I do that all the time. But clearly that's just not going to happen. Oh and then there is skiing. I mean I know I am decent at that, but of course you can always get better. But seriously after my last ski of the season this year, I had the best feeling in the world. IT WAS GOOD. That is when I am truly happy. Doing that. One thing that I have decided for this coming summer is that I will not let work stand in the way of me getting out on the water more. I need that to keep me sain and who I am. That is what I have to look forward to!

Peace dudes.
Kim

I'll make it through!

I am just looking forward to going home. The more exams I get done the closer it comes. I am going to try and work hard and get good marks and do what I need to do. Then next semester I will worry about next year. Small steps Kim, small steps.

Alone

It just hit me like a sack of hammers. I feel very alone right now. It just seems like I have no one to go to and anyone I would go to is too far away. Like my parents. I miss them. I miss my dog, I miss my sister right now. This month is going to be a long one. I am still so confussed about school and what I am going to do next year. What if I don't get into the program. Which I probably won't cause Kyle said they take 30 people and 4oo and some applied when he got in. Like really what are my chances. SO I guess I wouldn't be coming back here and I don't know if I will go to school at all. Maybe try something at SAIT at home. I dunno. This sucks! I hate life right now. I'll be surprised if I don't kill myself. Like really.

Just chillin....

So this weekend has been alright. I really haven't done much at all. I do have to study today though. I HAVE to. I am GOING to. I need to find the motivation. Otherwise I just might fail my lab exam and that would just suck. But anyways. Friday night was alright. Probably would have been better but I didn't want to drink and be humg over yesterday.... not that I did anything anyways. Oh well. I hit my hip though and now I have a bruise and it's sore. Oh and everyone just kept randomly disappearing so I ended up walking back most of the way by myself until I found Eric and Mikey in Papa John's. Then Eric went to the house and I signed Mikey in so he could come in and pass out, which he really needed to do. Yesterday was a write off. I did NOTHING. Seriously. I planned on doing shit all day, and I just couldn't. I talked on msn to my mom and Dani for like maybe an hour and that's like all I did all day. I didn't want to read, I didn't want to watch a movie... nothing. I didn't even nap. I just kinda lied there. Like I was dead to the world. It was very strange. I did finish my 10 square painting last night but I was up till 3:00 doing it cause I didn't start till like 10:00 probably. I watched Ocean's Twelve first. The funny thing is I have seen it before but I didn't really remember it. Haha. Made for a good watching. Oh and when I was in the middle of painting I went into the lounge and then I was there for at least an hour maybe 2 watching this really crazy but funny movie with Alison and Brittany. More distractions and procrastination. I WILL NEVER LEARN!! Oh well. Today I made my bed and working on a bit of art. Now I have to go and study for Bio and do a self portrait! Later peeps.

mixed feelings

I seriously am not sure how I fell right now. I am all over the place. My mind and body are being strange. I mean I have had nightmares this last week, I have been pissed at people and I am freaking out about school as usual. Cause that's what I do. I just don'e even know what I could say. I mean so much is going through my head but it's all crazy and mixed up. Plus I don't want to make anyone upset because I do not need the drama right now and frankly I just am starting not to care. I have decided to worry about me, and my school and that's it. I am going to try my hardest to stay out of EVERYTHING. Lets hope it works. Peace.

thinking... and telling

Well guys as you all know I had a pretty good weekend at home. I got to see people, I got to party a bit and I got to relax. Most of all I got to watch TV, a lot of TV. It was great. Really. Just so you all know now incase you didn't before I LOVE TELEVISION. I am not going to lie, it greatly amuses me and I watch a lot of shows and I love them all. I mean I don't even think I could pick a favorite. So that's that.

Now I would like to mention that I hate University and as Leanne has stated clearly in her blog EVERYTHING IS STUPID. I still don't know what I want to do with my life but right now I am thinking of switching into Arts and taking Design Engineering which will eventually lead to architecture. That's the plan. But I was also looking into what I need to take and I basically will be starting from first year, with a few courses that I won't have to worry about. That's the plan anyways. Oh and I have to take stupid engineering classes. I dunno guys, I dunno. We will see I guess. There is the possibility of taking Computer Design but I think I am going to see how I do in comp sci next semester before I decide and see what the councilors say. But ya, just wanted to put that out there. Cause I know this is how you all know whats going on in Kim's little random crazy mind.

Peace out!

waiting to go home...

1. What time is it? 3:46 pm
2. What is your name? Kim
3.Any nicknames? Kimmy, Gibler
4. Parent's names? Frank and Donna
5. What is your Favourite drink? well I love juice and milk. Alcoholic probably gin and tequila
6.(a) Tattoos? nope, but I want one
(b) Body piercing? 5 in my ears
7. How much do you love your job-scale of 1 to 10? Well since I'm not working school is my job and really it isn't that much fun. Like a 5
8. Birthplace: Calgary
9. Favourite vacation spot: Always and forever SANDPOINT
10. Ever been to Africa? Nope but it would be awesome to go.
11. Stolen any traffic signs? Can't say that I have but it would be fun
12. Ever been in a car accident? Sadly yes... minors. I was rearended once and sister hit the ditch another.
13. Croutons or Bacon bits? croutos for sure
14. 2 Door or 4 Door car? I dunno. Both are ok. 2 door I guess cause thats what i have
15. Salad Dressing?I like so many. Creamy cucumber, italian
16. Favourite Pie: chocolate cream
17. Favourite Number? 666
18. Favourite Movie? soo many, I love movie. Probably Van Wilder, Varsity Blues...
19. Favourite Colour? I love color but blue and green
20. Favourite Holiday? I dunno, probably Christmas because there is good food, a break from school and I get to see family!
21. Favourite Food? I love beef. Stir fry, meatloaf, mushroom chicken dish. YUM!
22. Favourite day of the week? Friday becayse it's the start of the weekend and the last day of the week!
23. Favourite brand of body soap? I like soap... um Olay...
24. Favourite TV show? I have an obsession with TV. Way too many to choose from... maybe CSI, Gilmore Girls.
25. Toothpaste? Good tasting stuff that cleans my teeth!
26. Most recently read book? don't remember... been awhile. Maybe Harry Potter #5
27. Favourite Smell? home, rain, food.
28. What do you do to relax? sleep... aka napping, read cosmo, watch TV/movies.
29. Favourite Fast Food? Probably A&W although Wendy's frostys are yummy
30. When was your last hospital visit? don't know... um last time I hade stiches probably. So grade... 9 I think
31. Message to your friends reading this: I hope you all have a fucking awesome weekend. There should be some hard core drunkenness! Haha. Love you all to death. Hopefully I don't miss out on too much this weekend.
32. How do you see yourself in 10 years? Hopefully maybe I have found someone by then, possibly getting married, almost 30.... that's scary!
33. What do you do when you are bored? Talk on msn... a lot, write a blog, watch TV, chat with people, anything.
34. What presents do you enjoy receiving? Notes from my girls, and ones that are sentamental or have thought behind them.
35. Furthest place you will send this message? maybe around the world since anyone can read it.
36. Who will respond the fastest? I dunno, no one, this isn't an email.
37. Least likely to respond? I dunno.
38. What time is it now? 4:02 pm.... almost time to go home!

indifferent

After briefly thinking about these blogs i have come to the conclusion that being indifferent is the only way to go. I mean after reading my blog and yours(Leanne) and mine again we are still somehow fighting about a little thing like someones opinion. I dunno. I see now how stupid it really is and all I can do is shake my head. Maybe if I just stay at middle ground where I don't not like a movie but on the same token I don't love it either. Then I won't be upset if someone else doesn't like it or make anyone else upset if they do like it. Problem solved.

P.S. I guess we read things differently because I would have thought by reading my blog again that I was actually somehow directing it more to Alison even if I didn't mean to. Part of the confussion may have to do with my bad use of grammer where I should have said you guys instead of just you. Anyways, oh well.

response

Leanne. Yeah I did know you were going to read it and that's why i wrote it. But it was not just for you. I meant Alison too because it was both of you, and for whoever else that might read it because this whole thing just seems to bug me for some reason. I mean Patrick was getting in on it too but obviously he isn't going to read this. Truthfully I think it bothers me more when you and Alison do it because I value your opinions more. I never say things in person because i don't like getting into arguments because i never seem to win, especially with you. Not that it happens a lot or anything your just a more aggressive person in general then I am and I always feel like burrowing under a rock when it comes to an end like that. I think that's why I just avoid those situations. I know you always say to say it in person and I almost did but then after it had passed and I just didn't think it would make sense. I will talk to you after, for sure. I just wanted you guys to know how I felt. I know you were not directly insulting me when you were making fun of the movie but it hit a nerve. I was probably just emotional/pmsing. I mean really I'm not even bothered by it today, because I get over things really quickly and I think that's another reason why I didn't say anything because I know that it's stupid. Anyways, I hope your having a good time at Sam's because I know you haven't hung out with her yet. Have a good night!

don't diss

Ok I hate being angry/ upset about little things but this is really bothering me. Why is it when I seem to like something, I get dissed for it. I mean I know I can be different and I like a lot of stuff some people don't but on the other hand some people do like it. I say that a movie looks good and you guys shoot it down right away and you haven't seen previews let alone the movie. I mean I haven't seen it either but I still feel shot down. So what if I like chick flicks and cheasy movies, it doesn't give you the right to make fun of the movie or me for it. Think about it, even if you didn't mean to. I know I should say something if it bugs me... and I was going to but you know me and just not liking to make trouble out of a little situation but this I can't let go. I mean Alison you showed me that article about country music and how people shouldn't diss it. I know some people don't like it but they don't need to shoot us down for listening to it right. So why should we shoot people down for watching a stupid movie. Just like Chris Conner making fun of me for liking XXX. I like it so fuck off. I don't like Clockwork Orange but I don't make fun of people for watching it. People have different tastes. You don't have to like it. Just say that and leave it at that. That's just how I feel.

-Kim

fuck me

Ok I can't do this. Today was a terrible day and it was going better tonight but little things somehow always ruin it. Like seriously. How do I manage to do things that make people mad. I dunno. I'm just not going to talk anymore and then maybe my problems will be solved. Be a hermit and hide out in my room studying all the time. Hey maybe it's a good idea. At least then maybe I won't fail university and get kicked out. That will be just peachy!!! Fuck maybe I should anyways and then I could get my year off that I wanted since my dad and mom don't think it's a good idea. I mean I don' t know if it is either since I have already done 1.5 years. Well getting there. Not thats really all that much. Most of my courses seem pretty usless to me right now anyways. What am I going to do with any of it. Fuck school. I have to decide real soon what I plan on doing because I need to do well or I'm fucked. AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH. Oh and the major reason why my day was crappy in the first place is because first of all I had an 8:00 am art class which went by so quick and I had pretty much no time to work on my project because the teacher talked so much and I wasn't sure what to do. Like fuck. So now I will probably be in the art studios for the remainder of the weekend working on that shit plus studying for my Bio 108 midterm next week and working on Physics so I don't fail my final like I failed my midterm. Yeah I got that back today too. A nice 25 out of 65. Not good. Why physics. Why am I taking a class that is guaranteed to bring my mark down. That was smart Kim. GENIOUS. Oh and to make things that much better I had my Physics lab today too. First off I go into my regular lab room and there are a lot of peopl there I don't know..... what the fuck right. Well I guess they decided to change our lab rooms around this week. Randomly.... I dunno. Then the lab was a mess, cause it's Physics and things never work in Physics. It took us forever to get out data so we were rushing to try and finish our lab and we didn't . We went like 15 minutes over as it is. But no we probably failed. Just great. Just what I need to add to that nice midterm mark! Seriously I should have gone out and got drunk tonight. I think I would have been better off. Although I did watch The Italian Job and had a nap through part of it. Had a good little chat with Leanne and then we watched Mean Girls in the lounge which was quite entertaining. I hate life, it is far to complicated just like people. I wanna say that I wish it was simple but then people would say that it wouldn't be exciting without the drama. Oh well what can you do? I am really missing my family right now but on the other hand I was kinda getting annoyed with my mom tonight. Like why does she have to know EVERYTHING that is going on. That's why I moved away from home in the first place but it really doesn't seem to have changed much. I dunno I think I was just in a bad mood and didn't feel like talking. Plus she is harping on me about school and I fucking know that I have to do good. I KNOW. There is that little thing in the back of my head that is constantly saying if you fail this you could get kicked out of university. You could be a failure. Don't you think I know. I am tired of having it rubbed in my face. Maybe I just won't tell them how I am doing and deal with shit on my own. Just tell them I'm doing awesome and leave it at that. I think that's all I can handle. Grrr. Seriously I just want to go home where I can have a nice shower and where I don't have to wait like 2 minutes for it to heat up in the morning. To have my room back with my nice big bed and nice sheets. To have good food, to sleep, to have to some fun with my closest friends and to just relax. I want my hot tub. That will be nice to go home to. Why did I move away from home??? Seriously I have to wonder, because it seems to much better there sometimes. I mean I could be driving my car right now if I was at home. I miss my car!! I love driving. I miss not having to pay for laundry or having to wait or having someone randomly put my clothes somewhere. Wow I just want to go home right now. I need home. Soon enough it will come. Wow it feels good to get that out.

So about the weekend. I'll try to make this short. I was pissed with Chris on Friday because we were supposed to hang out and we weren't so I got mad at him and we had a good discussion and at least now I knoe where he stands. I dont' think he wants a relationship but I'm going to do my thing and if something happens then it happens and if something doesn't then it's all good. I was glad that I had been here though because I was here for Dani when she got sick and I was happy to comfort her and to support her. Now she is getting better!! Love you Dani. Then Chris ended up calling me at like 1:00 in the morning and asked if I wanted to come over and habng out and watch a movie, so I did, and it was nice. I got to see Garden State and to just sleep beside someone was nice. And then there is Alison who is always looking out for me. Giving me a call at who knows what time to be careful and be aware of my actions. Haha. :) Gotta love friends. Then Saturday was our floor crawl. What a fucking gong show. I had a lot of shots. All of them. Just like a lot of other people yet somehow I was one of the only people functioning and not passed out or puking. Oh man. What a night. Leanne I will always love you even if you do puke on my bed. Haha. It's ok. Taking care of people is what I do I guess. I mean I am not going to lie I was so fucking drunk yet somehow I kept it together. I'm just glad everone is alive and well. Oh alcohol. So that was a good night. Sunday was a right off because everyone was hung over and that was the end of that. It was an all around interesting weekend. But I think I am going to shut up now because this blog had turned into one of my classic Reader's Digest versions which go on forever and ever and I have no clue if anyone will get throught the whole thing. So if you did I hope that it was at least entertaining. Night all.

crazy ass weekend!

Oh Halloween... gotta love it. This weekend was interesting on so many levels. With the floor and then with Chris and everything. So much to talk about. No time to elaborate now but when I have a chance I will give you all the detail... that I can remember. Haha. Oh dear. Just a taste of what is to come. PURE CRAZYNESS. Peace

oh Leanne...

Haha, I know I know. I am trying. I am going to block him out until I'm done midterms and then I will worry about it. If I hang with him on Friday I can have some fun and then maybe I will get a chance to talk to him. Because midterms will be done he has less excusess and if we still don't hang out then that's it. I will move on. You know how hard it is for me. I get so attached to people. Look at Marc. Haha. That was a little overboard yes but you understand. I will try so very hard. And you can take me out and get me drunk and help me find a guy to randomly make out with. mwhahaha. P.S. Even if I do think about him for whatever reason I will keep it on the down low cause I know I'm driving you nuts. Hhaha. Oh and thanks for wanting to die with me. I feel much better. :) haha. Love you. Party on girls. Good luck with the continuing torture which we all call school!