hmm...scared, kinda, I think

I just realized that I don't think I can handle watching these creepy CSI shows at 1 in the morning anymore. I mean I love then but I go to bed scared. Scared that I won't get to do things in life because I am going to die or be killed. I mean I think I come up with senerio's that could happen with no merit or reason. And then I wonder what is it about human nature that does this to us. I mean it's just a show, and I really have nothing to worry about right, or do I. I don't understand what my mind is doing. I am very confused. I think I need to figure some things out. To just sit and think. I really haven't had much time to do that in awhile. I mean everything, family, guys, school, my future and what I want to do now. hmmm.... wow, this must sound really psycho, but you have nothing to worry about. It's just thoughts created by a show. When I watched NCIS tonight it made me realize how important friends really are, what we should be doing for them and what they are willing to do for us. hmmm.... Anyways, I am going to move away from this weird topic and allow my mind to let it all settle and just inform you of my crazy day. I spent all day with my dad and his coworkers on a bus and at Lake Louise, with their dirty and unusual jokes and their old sense of humor. Surprisingly I had a great time, not that I really expected not to. They are a great group of people and are actually pretty amusing and they enjoy their fun time and drinks. I am going to enjoy working with them this summer, I am sort of looking forward to it now. Even my horoscope said today was going to be an interesting day (Oh, this is going to be one of those days: the kind you'll never forget, for all the right reasons. This really could be fun.) I have always had a fascination with adults and authority figures. Maybe it's the experience they have and that I want to gain.... Wow I do have crazy things going through my head. But ya, I had a great time today. The food was great, the people were nice, I couldn't have asked for a nicer day and I FINALLY GOT TO GO SNOWBOARDING!!!!! I get out there and I realized how much more I want to do it and how much more I should because I enjoy it and I really am out of shape. It's always easier to do something that is good for you if you enjoy it. But I don't really have much of an option. I guess you gotta work for what you want even if you don't like to. Remind me of that when you can. Encourage me. I know I need to get out there, just give me that push if you have the chance and it will get me going. I need orders! Wow I should watch what I say... I might be getting myself into some trouble. So this is where I am going to end my randomness for the night. Maybe if I write these earlier in the day they won't be so odd and crazy....